no one said it would be easy

Chapter 23 - an apology

Casey

"So, how are you?" Izzie asks me while crawling into bed next to me.

"Better than I deserve, I guess", I chuckle and turn my head towards Izzie.

It's a miracle we snuck into the house without Elsa and Dad noticing. I thank god I sobered up enough to walk up the stairs all by myself. The last thing I need right now is a fight with my parents for underage drinking.

Izzie tucks herself in and scoots up closer to me. I open my arms, inviting her for a hug, which she gladly accepts. Her head lays on my chest and her hair smells like her apple shampoo and smoke from the people at the party.

"I'm sorry for behaving like this." I whisper. "I was pretty embarrassing" my cheeks turn red thinking of what happened at that party. I'm almost thankful for having memory gaps.

"It wasn't so much the fact that you were drunk... It was more what you said to me that led me thinking" Izzie softly speaks and I realize she is intentionally not looking at me. I stroke my fingers through her hair to soothe her a little bit.

"What did I say?" I want to know, because I seriously don't remember us even talking. All I can remember is puking into a trashcan and that Evan drove us home.

Izzie plays with the corner of our covers "You asked me why I wasn't showing you love when other people are around. Why I didn't kiss you at the last party and Quinn's party."

I look at the ceiling, as if I could find any words to say right now.

"Oh" is all I manage to get out.

"Yeah...", an uncomfortable silence fills the room. "But I did think about it", Izzie suddenly adds.

"I think... I think I cared too much, what other people think of me. I don't know, I just... I think I was worried to be put into a category I wasn't sure I belong into. Does that make sense?", she asks me, finally looking at me again. Our eyes meet and I can see the reflection of myself in her pupils.

"Yeah, kinda", I speak. "But do you know now?"

Izzie lets out a sigh "No. Maybe there isn't a right category or label for me" she places her chin on my chest.  "But I do know that I am deeply in love with you. And being your girlfriend is the only acceptable label for me."

I smirk and blow air through my nose. "Who doesn't want to be labeled like this?"

Izzie rolls her eyes, but I can clearly see the corner of her lips lifting up. She's trying so hard to suppress a smile.

I kiss her nose and touch her forehead with mine.

Izzie lifts her hand to cup my cheek and I lay my whole head into her hand, closing my eyes and enjoying the moment.

Suddenly I feel soft lips against mine. We kiss. A slow and intimate kiss, which tells me more about Izzie's feelings than all the words in this world could.

Which started so softly and innocent soon evolves into a passionate kiss. My tongue begs for entrance and Izzie allows me to touch her tongue with mine. We shift around, Izzie now laying underneath me, holding me at my neck and trying to pull me even closer, even though there is no space between us anymore.

My hands trace down from her neck to her collarbones, caressing the sensitive skin. I feel Izzie breathing heavier and heavier as she tucks at my shirt, unsure if she's allowed to touch the skin underneath it. I pull away from her lips, only to place soft but breathy kisses onto her neck. She lets out a small moan and it's only then I realize what's going on and what we are about to do, if none of us stops now.

But I don't want to stop. I want more. I want her.

Izzie tucks once again on my shirt, and digs her fingers into the skin of my back, signalizing me she doesn't want to stop either.

I place an open mouth kiss right underneath her collarbone, causing her to bite her bottom lip, before I let her take off my shirt.