no one said it would be easy

Chapter 24 - the letters

Izzie

„Oh my god", I say, as I'm holding two almost identical letters in my hands. They're the same color, have the same stamp and the same size. Only the names are different. One's for Casey and one's for me.

"What?" Casey shouts from upstairs and Doug and Elsa look around the corner from the kitchen, too.

UCLA. Those are letters from UCLA.

My hands start shaking as I'm holding my future right in them. Those letters will define my future.

The past months been an emotional rollercoaster. Casey and I trained like crazy after the words Evan said to me during our drive home from Quinn's party. It was some sort of stress management for the most time, but especially after I tried to reach out for my mom once again. She wasn't as harsh as she was the last time we saw each other, but she wasn't really nice in particular, either. I had to learn to accept she won't see me the way she used to do.

My mother even tried to talk my siblings into despising me, but she wasn't that successful. Jake fell right into my arms when he saw me after months of silence. For them I'm still their big sister Izzie and it's so soothing to know I've still got family. Maybe one day they can convince our mother that me having a girlfriend isn't that bad of a thing, especially if said girlfriend is Casey.

God, she was so cute with my siblings, especially little Lucy has found favor in her. She just wouldn't leave her side.

Casey and I strengthened our relationship, too. I still don't know how to label myself or if I even want to be labeled. But every day with her is exciting and wonderful. She lets me feel things I weren't aware of existed. The night of Quinn's party was the starting signal of something so intense and real. We got to know each other on a whole new level and I honestly really don't mind to get to know her even more on this level. It's getting better and better with each time and I really have a hard time concentrating on changing my own clothes when I see her taking hers off in the locker room after practice.

Fast stomps from Casey running down the stairs let me snap out of my daydream. Even Elsa and Doug are standing in the living room now.

I look at all three of them and hold the letters up, so they can see them. "They arrived", I say.

Casey's face drops and her mouth is a bit open.

"What are you waiting for? Open them!" Doug says, just as nervous as we are. He wraps his arm around Elsa's waist, who is holding her hands in front of her face as if she's praying. I hope she is, I really do need her prayers.

Casey walks over to me and I hand her the letter with her name on it.

We lock eyes and I laugh a nervous chuckle. My heart is beating like a drum in my chest, and I am worried it'll jump out.

"Together?" my girlfriend asks. I am unable to speak, so all I do is nodding slowly.

I put my thumb into the flap of the envelope and the sound of ripping paper fills the room.

~~~

Casey

My eyes fly over the paper in my hands and I try to concentrate on the written words. Some sentences seem too long to read, other's are short and concise.

But I get the main point of this letter.

"I'M IN!" I shout. "THEY WANT ME!", I say once again and Elsa and Doug pull me into a big bear hug. I'm too jumpy to stand still and my knees are too weak to handle the weight of my happiness.

My Dad places a kiss on the top of my head and I already hear Elsa trying to hold in her sobs. She pats my hair and a teardrop silently falls onto her shirt.

"We're so proud of you", she says and my smile is getting wider and wider. I squeak out of joy and can't help to jump around a bit.

"We're going to UCLA Izzie!" I turn around to her and by her body posture, how she's avoiding my eyes and giving me her best saddest smile I know I shouldn't have said that.

She gulps down and bites her lip "You're going. I didn't get in."