feelings | cranksepticeye

11 - help

ethan stood outside of the toilets with felix and waited for everybody else to do their business. something had been very off that day: there was a lot of tension between seán and felix, and both boys were being incredibly quiet. ethan suspected that they had an argument, but about what was unknown.

suddenly, felix was approaching ethan. it would be the first time they spoke all day if he intended on talking to him.

"i know this might be weird, considering you're new and i don't know you very well...but there's something i gotta tell you." he said, immediately interesting ethan. he nodded, and allowed felix to speak again.

"i know if i tell the guys they'll probably dismiss it or say i'm over reacting or something. you seem like the understanding type." ethan just wanted to know what the hell it was that felix wanted to say, though he did appreciate the comment about him being 'the understanding type'.

"basically...i think seán is going to break up with me." ethan immediately began to feel a range of emotions. confusion, sadness, empathy, bewilderment, sympathy..happiness. why was he happy about that? seán was potentially going to break up with his boyfriend who he was seemingly happy with. why was that making ethan feel joy?

"why do you say that?" ethan asked.

"well...he doesn't want to do anything with me really. he's ok with holding hands and hugging and stuff. but whenever i kiss him, he doesn't want to. he says it 'feels weird'. at first i assumed it's because he hasn't seen me in a while, but it's been a week and he still feels weird whenever i kiss him. i don't think he really loves me like that anymore." ethan began to feel even more bad. he knew that if he was in felix's situation, he would be feeling like absolute shit. he wouldn't know what to do with himself. he was about to say something and give the paranoid boy some advice, but then the rest of the guys came out of the bathroom.

when seán came out, he looked more miserable than when he went in. ethan realised that it must have been hard on him too; having to feel that way and potentially really hurt someone that means a lot to him. he decided the best thing to do about it was not bring it up with seán, incase he got mad at felix for saying anything about it. ethan felt bad and he felt a lot of sympathy for felix. but at the same time, he couldn't stop himself from enjoying the thought of those two breaking up, and seán finally being single.

why?