Like Before (a pregame saiouma story)

Part 8

*Saihara pov*

I was confused and startled by Kokichi's statement. Have I hurt Kokichi? Why would I ever do that to him. I'd understand if I hurt Kokichi as the ultimate Supreme Leader. But this version of Kokichi. Is that why he was scared of me.

"Why did I hurt you, how did I hurt you?"

Kokichi looks up at me again. But then quickly looked away trying to avoid eye contact.

"I remember it vividly. L-like I said, you were basically obsessed with Danganronpa to a unhealthy amount. And so you were very obsessed with despair. You said that you would rewatch Danganronpa alot, just so you could get any feeling of despair from it. But then there was me in the middle if it."

I stayed quiet, letting Kokichi's words stick in through my head. He began to continue.

"You would say these weird things to me at times. Like you would say. You're to pure Kokichi, and that's why I love you. Or. You should put some despair on that cute face of yours. It would look better. I never understood what you meant until... You started to hurt me, you would leave scars on my body. Whenever I tried to hide my pain you would get mad at me. You said that you wanted me to act like my normal self. But I never did, it felt better to hide how I felt. And you seemed to hate that."

It felt like Kokichi was going to keep talking forever. But eventually he stopped. I was horrified. I never knew that I use to be such a horrible person. It made sense why Kokichi was scared of me now. I assumed that over time I lost my urge for despair. Which was clearly for the better.

But what was I supposed to say to Kokichi. I felt like he would never be able to trust me again. But, if I would hurt Kokichi more if he lied. Why would he become a major liar. It didn't add up to me at all. But, I still had one question.

"Kokichi, if I really treated you like that. Than why were you still so depending of me. Shouldn't you hate me?"

"I mean, you did treat me horribly. But compared to how everyone else treated me... You were the nicest to me."

That made me feel more sick to my stomach than before. If I was nice to Kokichi, then how horribly did everyone else treat him. That was probably why he was scared of Kaede and Kiibo. I knew that Kokichi wouldn't forgive me easily, not after all I did to him. I needed to make it up to him somehow.

I suddenly wrap my arms around Kokichi. He was obviously startled.

"Kokichi, I'm so sorry that I made you feel this way. I'm sorry that I can't remember anything that happened back then, but I'll tell you this. I'll make everything up to you somehow. I promise. I promise you that I'll help you make up for all the years you've spent suffering. It's the least I can do for you."

I heard Kokichi start to cry more. I assumed that I did something wrong. I let go of him.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?! I didn't mean to-"

He suddenly hugs me.

"Thank you."