Like Before (a pregame saiouma story)

Part 13

*Kokichi pov*

I saw the sudden change in Saihara's face as he thought to himself.

"What were you like before?"

He laughed quietly to himself.

"You were so much different. It's like you two aren't even the same person. You use to be arrogant, over the top, sarcastic, and a big liar. It was hard for anyone to ever believe anything you said. It was like a certain charm about you."

Saihara had what almost looked like a sad smile on his face.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I don't like who you are now. It's just, so surprising to me to see how much you've changed."

I thought about what he said for a second. I could understand why I acted that why.

"I think I'm starting to better understand myself. I mean, sometimes things like lying and hiding your true feelings might be better. It's like at times you don't want people to be concerned, or worried about you. So a little lie like yeah I'm okay, could change someone's view of you for the worse. But if you keep lying, you'll eventually start lying to yourself. Changing your own view of your own character. Most likely for bad reasons."

(It's easier to write depressing things like this if this is what your normally tell yourself.)

I was basically mumbling to myself. I mean, I was use to hiding my feelings. It feels like the right thing to do at times. But...

"I'm sorry, this is getting to meta for me to handle."

I was starting to get blurry memories of who I was. But it wasn't much. It hurt to wrap my mind about everything. It was like having two identities, but my other indentiy was locked away. It still confused me.

I look up at Saihara. He had a looking of shock on his face. I released that I had been talking for a long time. And he had been quiet for a long time.

"Ah, I'm sorry! D-did I say something wrong, I was just rambling and..."

"No wait, it's okay. I was just thinking about what you were saying. That really helped me understand. I understand why you and your other self are so different. It's like, you were always like this. But somehow you changed your whole self image entirely. You covered up your feelings with white lies. And you slowly started to change who you were on the outside, but not on the inside. You're still the same person, it's just that you present yourself so differently."

It went quiet for awhile again.

"I mean, you are and always have been Kokichi. But it's like you just changed your reputation. That's why because you were turned back to who you were before Danganronpa. You can understand and remember why and how you changed. But you don't really know why you changed."

It went silent again.

"Maybe we should change the conversation."

"Y-yeah, that would probably be better. I'm starting to lose my grasp on reality."

I felt like I was having a identity crisis.

"Saihara, I have a question."

"What is it?"

"Just in case I never go back to... normal. W-would people except my change."

"Well I mean, something as sudden as this would take time I'm sure."

"Well... do you think I'll ever turn back?"

"That really depends. First off we would have to determine what happened to you. To see if it's reverseable or not."

"Well, I want to know which way you prefer me being?"

I didn't realize that I said that out loud until I saw Saihara look at me.

"Kokichi, I don't care about how you act. I care about who you are. It doesn't matter to me if you change or not."

I started to blush, alot. I looked away so I didn't catch Saihara's eyes. Desperately I quickly look up at him. It looked like... he was blushing to. As soon as he realized I caught a glance at him he quickly looked away to. I wondered if he realized what he said. But his words struck right through my chest.

"Well-

Saihara suddenly stands up.

"It was nice talking to you Kokichi. I learned alot about you. But I should probably leave sooner or later."

I nod my head. It was like he was as flustered as me.

"A-alright, bye I guess."

I was kinda sad to see him go. I felt safer around him. I didn't know what would happen to me if I was alone again. I expected Saihara to give me a normal goodbye. But he did something else.

He leaned down and kissed me.

Editor note
-ayo, sorry this is longer than what I normally write. But I would also like to thank all of you for making this the #1 story on the saiouma tag. It means alot to me knowing that random people like my stupid gay shit so much.