The Truth

Week 10: Thursday

Slowly the days have gotten better. As I walk to class today, there's a spot where the sun is shining through the trees and a gush of wind blows on me. In this moment, I know it'll be okay. I miss Brandon every day, but my word to give him space is the only thing I can give him.

Going to class at first was hard to see him, but not be able to be near him. I've taken time off work, so I can focus on myself and school. The only time I saw Mikey was at work when I asked off, the interaction was purely business, but it still felt good to hear his voice.

"Hey Mel, isn't the weather beautiful today?" Violet asks as I see her walking towards me. "Yeah, it sure is. Sort of gives hope for everything. That spring is here, and we can get a fresh start," I answer, more to myself. She raises her brow at me and comments, "Yeah, spring is nice."

I look her way and cheaply smile while saying, "Sorry. I've recently been feeling better and today has reassured me it'll be okay." A smile appears on her face and she nods her head. "I'm happy to hear that, I've missed you at work. There's too many guys for you to be gone," she tells me with a small laugh at the end.

"I'll be back soon," I reassure for the first time not cringing over the idea of going back to work. "Well I have to get to class but have a great day Mel!" she voices while I'm caught up in my thoughts. I wave bye and continue towards the direction I was originally going.

My phone starts to vibrate frantically, and I look down to see multiple snapchats from Bree. As I open them, I look both ways before crossing the street, then look back down to my phone. Apparently, Taylor surprised her with presents and lunch. A smile crosses my face, I'm happy for her. I quickly snap a photo of me frowning and caption it, you better save me some of the chocolate.

As I reach the sidewalk leading up the building, I almost run into someone. Embarrassed I look at the ground and say, "I'm sorry." The person does the same and luckily our awkward interaction ends there. Looking back up there's only one person now in front of me, walking towards me.

Brandon.

I stop in my tracks, he hasn't noticed me yet. What do I do?

I try to move, but I'm stuck. I can't move. What's even worse is I can't take my eyes off him.

Then he notices me.

Our eyes lock and I realized I've been lying to myself. It won't be okay. I want him. All my longing that I've tried to ignore rushes in and tears start to collect in my eyes. I need to look away. 

Why can't I look away?

I take a deep breath in and release it. 

One. Breath in. 

Two. Hold it. 

Three. Release it.

I look away and with everything I have, I slowly walk towards my class again. I fight back the tears from falling. I can't cry in front of him. In the corner of my eye I can still see him standing in the same spot.