Clayton's Girl

Chapter Fourteen

||Aubree||

Shopping with Clayton's mom was a different experience. It was uncharted territory for me; something I had never done with my own mom.

My mother was unstable and kept to herself. She couldn't afford to take me to the mall even if she wanted to, but I always felt she didn't want to. Sometimes I wondered if I was just a burden on her, or a painful reminder of my dad. Every time she'd smile at me, it was immediately followed by a look of grief washing over her face. She let that grief consume her and control her entire life.

When my dad died, she had begun to drown and never resurfaced. I always felt he would be disappointed in her. Life wasn't perfect with him around, but I remember feeling loved. I remember she was loved. He always made sure his girls were well taken care of, and he was probably rolling in his grave while watching the things she let me go through. He was the type to work two admirable jobs to make ends meet, whereas she was the type to prostitute herself for a quick large paycheck. That was how she met Mike after all, and he was the type of man that my dad would put in the ground.

Honestly though, I always wondered if Mike existed before my dad's cancer. When my dad passed, it was almost as if he had popped up out of thin air. He strode into our house, head high, and he put on a good show just long enough to manipulate my mother's grief, so that he could get a ring on her finger. He kept her too drunk to think straight, and it was all downhill from there.

He encouraged her to be back on the streets, while he sat home collecting her social security checks for my dad's death.

Meanwhile I was locked up in my room unless needed, almost like a real-life Cinderella.

At the end of the day, my dad deserved so much more than my mother. I believe he was blinded by her beauty and natural charm. What he really deserved was someone like Larene, who was devoted to her family and the best mother she could be.

Larene was cheery and bright. She had a presence that consumed you, just like Clayton's. She was always a bright spot in the room, helpful, caring, and kind. He deserved that.

She encouraged me to try new things and really reinvent myself. Which was uncomfortable at first, but as the evening went on, I felt like I had been reborn into someone who was confident, and ambitious for the first time in my entire life.

Aside from my intrusive life reflections, everything was going well, and I was caught off guard when Larene asked about Clayton and me. "So, tell me, what is going on between you and my son?" Her eyebrows rose.

I found myself fighting back a smile at the mention of Clayton. This was nothing new because he and our kiss had been plaguing my mind all day. "I've never really talked to boys before, so I'm not sure." What I really wanted to tell her, was that Clayton is my reason for continuing to wake up each day. He brought a brand-new meaning and perspective to my life, that I previously lacked. He was literally my reason for wanting to live, and while that was unhealthy to start a relationship on, I was okay with it.

A small smile spread across her face and her cheeks were glowing. "Well, he sure likes you." She grinned, and I knew she only had good intentions, but she made me feel as though I had something to live up to, and I found that discouraging.

The truth to this all, was that I didn't know what would become of Clayton and me. I didn't want expectations placed over our heads, because that would just mean disappointment if things don't turn out as wished for. I just wanted to take each day as it comes and see where that leads.

But try as I might, I couldn't imagine a future without Clayton Moore in it.

-

We arrived home, unannounced. I followed Larene through the front door, who was holding our heap of bags. I thanked her profusely as I truly did not deserve all this, nor did I need all this.

"Aubree!" Clayton startled me as he jumped up off the couch and hurried to the door. He never tried to hide his excitement when seeing me and it made me feel one million different ways. "You guys missed dinner; did you eat?"

"Are you going to ask me to eat with you if I say no?" I asked. Wherever I got that stroke of confidence from, was completely unknown to me. I worried whether it was too straight forward or expectant.

Tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear, I was just about to apologize for my frankness, when Larene interrupted me. "Oh! I think it would be great if you two went out and had a night to yourselves." Little did she know, we had already had one of those.

Clayton looked mortified as his mom pried into his life, but I found their family dynamic to be sweet. They simply cared about each other and wanted to see each other happy. "Aubree, we could try out some of that new makeup." She winked at me and suddenly I was being ushered down the hall to my room.

Thinking that felt odd to me. My room. I had my own room before, but it wasn't anything more than a beat-up mattress on the floor, a scuffed floor, and a broken dresser. It was strange to live in a house that looked like someone pulled a photo from a magazine and brought it to life.

Clayton's mom spread the new collection across the bed sheet. She seemed as though she was putting great thought into her selections as she compiled a handful of supplies.

Patiently, I sat as she dusted various brushes across my face. The powdery smell of make up clouding my senses multiple times. At the very end of it all, I felt her meticulously dab her pink finger across my lips, until she felt she got it just right.

"Perfect." Her eyes beamed and watered up. "As I've said before, I never had a daughter to do these things with." She looked overcome with emotion as she guided me off the bed, over to a mirror. "What do you think?" Her hands sat on my shoulders and I stared at the mirror.

In the mirror was not a girl who had been abused and neglected. It was just a girl.

My eyes had a subtle amount of eye shadow patted on them, and an even more subtle touch of eyeliner and mascara. My cheeks looked warm and pink, and my lips looked softer than ever. "We don't need make up, but sometimes it really just makes us feel like we have our shit together." I gasped as the words left her mouth. She was always perfectly well-mannered, and she never swore before. Perhaps this was a side of her that I had yet to see. "Now clothes."

"Wait." I reached for her wrist, stopping her before she had the chance to move away. "Could I?" I asked politely, and she nodded her head while wearing a look of sincerity. She silently left the room and I stared at all the bags cluttering the bed.

I had never worn a dress before, but now felt like the right time. 

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Song: Reasons to Stay by Kat Vogel