End of the Beginning (A New Hope Series)

Chapter Six - Conflict

  Making his way through the corridors, Finn kept an eye out in search of Rose. He knew she was outside, celebrating with everybody else and that his search inside the base was pointless, but he still needed some time to think. Finn couldn't face her yet. He still didn't know what he was going to do. Though it hadn't been officially confirmed, everyone knew he and Rose had been going steady for quite some time now. Finn had been the only one who hadn't actually realized it until it was too late. And by that point, he didn't have the heart to call things off. Finn sighed. He cared for Rose. But it bothered him that he had gained feelings for Jannah so easily and so quickly. But we're his feelings truly from the heart, or had they spurred from just common interest?

   Finn grumbled and continued on his way, down the hall. He was running out of time. Finn knew that he had to figure out where he stood in all this. He needed to choose between Jannah and Rose. Lando's words kept running through his mind. He had to look deep inside himself and decide which one he truly loved. By it wasn't a matter of deciding who he loved. Finn knew that he loved Rose, but he didn't really know in what way. Finn stopped to lean against the wall and rubbed his temples. Was it true that if he had loved Rose then he wouldn't have fallen for Jannah? And even if he hadn't fallen for Jannah, would things have worked out between him and Rose?

All Finn knew was that things had been difficult between him and Rose for a while now. Both of them had been distant. And Rose had her studies to look forward to. She had a whole life ahead of her. Did she truly care for him? Or had it only been the spur of the moment when she'd kissed him after saving him. Perhaps it had been the pure shock of almost dying that brought her to kiss him. And Finn had felt compelled to retaliate her feelings because she'd risked her life to save him. Was that truly all it had been? Impulse and hormones? Finn growled and beat his clenched fist against the wall.

He couldn't face her. Finn shook his head, burying his face in his fists. He couldn't go out there and face Rose during the celebration. She was happy, they all were, that the Resistance had won the war. There was no reason to ruin her happiness. And Finn couldn't go on pretending that everything was alright. He couldn't face Rose and act as if nothing had changed. Because a lot had changed, and he wasn't certain if he could keep up an act. Finn slid down the wall and crumbled into a ball on the floor. Why was it so hard? Why couldn't he figure out how he felt? This was his life. Surely he could decipher his own feelings. Surely he knew in his heart what was right.

"Finn?" A voice called and Finn looked up. He saw Jannah running towards him and shifted uncomfortably. He didn't know why, but for some reason, Jannah wasn't the one he wanted to talk to. "Finn? Are you alright?" She asked with a wide smile. Finn gave her a weak smile. He didn't want to bring down her happy mood. She was thrilled that the First Order was defeated and the war was over. And she had much reason to be. Finn sighed. "I'm fine." Jannah nodded and her smile wavered slightly. "And your friend? Is she going to be alright?" Finn shrugged slightly by nodded. "I don't know what the doctors said yet, but Rey is strong. She'll get through this."

   Jannah nodded and sat down beside Finn. "I'm sure she'll be alright." She said and Finn nodded, not making eye contact. Jannah hesitated, seemingly unsure of what to say. "Do you love her?" She asked, tilting her head. There was a certain jealousy in her eyes. Finn's eyes widened and he shook his head furiously. "It's not like that." He sighed. "I love her like a sister. Rey was the first person I met when I left the First Order. She was my first friend and she is my best friend." Jannah nodded but looked relieved. She smiled slightly and tilted her head. "Then what's wrong? Aren't you happy the First Order is finally defeated?" She asked with concern in her voice.

   Finn sighed and nodded. "I'm fine. Just a little overwhelmed. I mean, the war is over. I couldn't be happier." He said with the widest smile he could manage. Jannah grinned. She stood and reached out, offering her hand to him. "That's great! Come on then! Join us for the celebration." She said as Finn hesitantly took her hand. Jannah pulled Finn to his feet with more force than he had thought possible and laughed slightly. "Your lighter than I thought you'd be." Finn rolled his eyes at her comment. He wasn't sure if she meant it as a compliment or an insult. Jannah continued to smile, so Finn took it as a lighthearted joke.