End of the Beginning (A New Hope Series)

Chapter Ten - Visions

Dawn crept over the island as the planet's twin suns began to rise, just breaking the surface of the horizon. The arriving light created a soft yellow hue across the sky that faded into orange, then pink, to eventually the blue sky. The multitude of color reflected across the sea. Rey watched the sunrise from the cockpit of the Falcon as she arrived on Ahch-To. As she stared out over the open ocean, Rey let out a gentle sigh. It was a beautiful morning. The sun's light sparkled against the oceans surface, blinding you if you looked too closely. The island was covered in greenery, signifying the coming of spring for the small planet.

   Looking over at Chewie, Rey smiled and sighed. Poe had insisted that the Wookie accompany Rey if she were to go. Rey had insisted it wasn't necessary but Chewie hadn't minded. He had accompanied her to Ahch-To before when they had gone to find Luke, now he hoped that they would find whatever Rey was looking for. Rey knew Chewie was hoping she was searching for Ben, which was partly true. Ben had been the last remaining family member that Chewie had. Chewbacca had been upset over Ben's death and Rey knew part of him held out hope that he wasn't truly gone. It was only just before they left that he reminded her of something Luke had said. "No one's ever really gone."

But Rey knew that he had moved on. Ben had passed on into the afterlife to be with his family. Unlike Rey who never passed beyond the world between worlds. It still bothered Rey that the Force had given him the the chance to save her but she hadn't had the opportunity to save him. The Force had taken his body away before she'd even been able to honor his death, let alone try to save him. Rey sighed. She supposed it made sense. If they continued to save each other over and over then it would be an endless ongoing process and it would make his sacrifice meaningless. It wouldn't have been right for her to try and bring him back. It would have killed her in the process, making Ben's sacrifice pointless.

   Rey shook her head and bit her lip. She couldn't be thinking about all this right now. Rey swallowed and tried to bite back her feelings, even though it wasn't possible. If she continued on like this, then she was bound to end up crying in front of Chewie. Rey clutched the small pair of gold dice in her hand and sighed. She didn't want to upset the Wookie anymore than he already was. Rey took a deep breath and looked up at Chewie. "Would you mind landing the Falcon? I... uh... I need to go to my room and get my things ready before we land." Chewbacca nodded and Rey smiled. "Thanks Chewie."

   Without another word, Rey hurried to her room. She slammed the door behind her and leaned against it then sank to the floor. Rey drew her knees close to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Tears fell as she buried her face in her hands. She wished Ben had left her dead. He hadn't deserved this fate. He should have been the one to live instead of her. She knew why Ben had done it. Without her, he hadn't had much to live for. Rey had friends whom she considered family now. Ben's family was gone. He had nothing left. But Rey still couldn't help but wish it had been her who died. She scoffed. She had died. But Ben had taken her place and traded his life for hers. Rey looked at the ground. He shouldn't have though.

   Guilt gripped her heart and Rey let out a sob. That wasn't what he would have wanted. Ben wouldn't have wanted her to wish she had died in his place. Especially with such good news about their child. Rey lifted a hand to her stomach. If she had died, then this baby would never have been possible. Perhaps everything that had happened, happened for a reason. Perhaps the outcome had been the best possible ending. Rey couldn't help but run the scenarios through her head, but she always came to the same conclusion. That he had deserved better, that she missed him, and that she loved him.

   Rey sighed. She loved him so desperately that it was impossible not to think of him. Ben was the only person who truly understood her, and the only one she truly understood. Finn was her best friend, and Poe was like a brother, but she still didn't understand them the way she understood Ben. Rey knew that her and Ben's connection was special. Spectacular even. She could never have that with another person. It wasn't possible. Their dyad was special, Palpatine said it himself, it was unseen for centuries. But even if it were possible, Rey could never be able to have that again. She and Ben were connected in more ways than just their Force bond. She was connected to him through her love for him, and through their unborn child.