The One I Should Love

Chapter 2 | 먹고 싶다

Adult life was tiring. 

Hana had always looked forward to graduating and being able to make her own way in the world, but she was starting to feel like she had glamourised the experience more than it deserved.

Handling both her assistant tasks and the added duties of a manager in training was giving her a good workout lately. It didn't help that there was no specific promise of a manager position in her future, but she was trying to prove herself to the team leaders anyway.  

Though the members were still trainees, the anticipation of debut was building, and she could feel a tension in the group whenever the subject was mentioned. 

The youngest three - the maknae line - seemed more patient than the older members, though just as eager to perform.

But the hyung line - leader Namjoon, and Seokjin, Yoongi and Hoseok, were getting tired of waiting. For most of them, they had been in the agency for years and were getting older. Most trainees were younger and that's what companies looked for. 

Unbidden thoughts cast a shadow on another day with no news of their debut. What if they never did? 

One of the duties of a manager was to be a liaison between the artist and the company, and as the group had no dedicated manager of their own yet, Hana had taken that responsibility on herself. 

It was hard to catch the team leaders for more than a few minutes at any time, but one morning Hana got lucky. 

She had arrived early as usual, working on some administration tasks so she could stay close to the office. 

Half an hour later, a middle-aged man walked in, and she seized her chance. 

"Good morning, Lee-ssi," she said, bowing her head in greeting. 

"Ah, Hana-ya, you're here early again," he replied warmly, hanging up his coat. 

"Actually, I was hoping to speak with you about the trainee group," she mentioned tentatively. "Do you have some time today?" 

He sat down at his desk and gestured for her to sit as well, "I have some time now, what did you want to discuss?"

She took a seat, suddenly feeling like she was overstepping her position, but went ahead anyway. "I've only been assisting them for a few weeks now, but as they don't have a manager yet, I thought it would be helpful to act as a go-between for any concerns they have."

He nodded, accepting this, so she continued. 

"They haven't directly told me this, but I have noticed that several members seem anxious about when they will debut, as they haven't been give a date," 

"From watching their practices, I have seen that they are ready to perform any day, but I'm worried that they wouldn't be able to maintain that level forever," she paused, not wanting to be blunt but not sure how else to phrase it. "Do you know when they can expect to debut?"

Manager Lee was silent for a few moments. "Hana-ya, I appreciate you taking on this responsibility, as we do need to hear these things. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. However, I can't tell you a date, as there isn't one."

He opened the desk drawer, and pulled out a folder. "This is the company's latest financial statement," he informed, placing it before her. "I won't bore you with the finer details, but the bottom line is, debuting a new group is expensive, and our other performers haven't brought in as much revenue as we had hoped in the last year."

She studied the graph, but without background information, it didn't mean much to her. She had only ever handled her own modest household finances.