"Alright, I'm boutta head out." said Shadow, dashing back to school. "Okay, who's next on the list?" Thought Shadow, taking out a list and his edgy reading glasses. "Thank god I don't have robotic eyes or anything, that would be tragic." said Shadow, squinting. "It says To Do List, Step- wait a minute, this isn't mine." said Shadow. Just then, Shadows hearing receptacles picked up something. "HELP ME! GET ME OUTTA HERE!" said a voice like Mario when he is suffocating inside of a bubble. "I'd better go get the popcorn." said Shadow.
When Shadow arrived on the scene, he noticed Carl the Man Bikini. "I'm here on da scene." said Shadow. "A MAN HAS FALLEN INTO THE RIVER IN UNNAMED CITY! USE THE NEW RESCUE HELICOPTER!" said Carl. "Carl what's going on here?" Asked Shadow. "What are you talking about? Everything's just cool. I'm just straight vibing." said Carl. "OH GOD PLEASE HELP I THINK THERE ARE MONSTERS DOWN HERE!" yelled a voice."Carl..." said Shadow. "Okay okay, so I WAS straight vibin, and that is a fact, even ask Man in a Kermit the Frog Suit, he's in that hole over there." said Carl. "Carl how did he get there?" asked Shadow. "Global Warming?" said Carl. Shadow then reached for a glock. "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! We were planting violets for our girlfriends, when Man found that really deep hole and now he's trapped. Isn't that right man?" said Carl. "OH MY GOD THERE ARE SKELETONS IN HERE AND THEY'RE GOING TO EAT ME HELP!" Screamed Man in a Kermit the Frog Suit.
"Why didn't you call for help?!" asked Shadow. "In case my gf walked by of course!" said Carl. "YOU having a girlfriend? HA! You just made me laugh for the first time in over 2 years." said Shadow. "Oh yeah wise guy? You'll be eating your own cheeks in a minute when you see her. Get ready... here it comes... " said Carl, using his bikini straps to pull out his phone. "AHA TAKE THAT!" said Carl, showing Shadow his phone.
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XxGamerOCGrillXDxX
'16, She/Her/They, OWO WHY'D U CLICK MY FACE OWO UWU. @RealChadManBikini is my husbando!!!! I love video games like pac-man and fortnight and other games that are popular right now, I also love animes like sword art online and steven universe and five nights at freddy!'
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"Oh, I didn't realize you were a simp." said Shadow. "'Simp?' What's that, like the Simpsons or some shit?" said Carl. "Dude, she's an E-girl, did you lose some brain cells recently?" asked Shadow. "HEY! DO NOT DISRESPECT MY QUEEN LIKE THAT!" said Carl. "Is anybody gonna get me out of here? I have to use the men's room..." said Man in a Kermit the Frog Suit. "Let me get this straight. The reason that Man is trapped down there in that hole is because you two accidentally discovered it while planting flowers for your girlfriends that don't exist?" said Shadow. "Yet." said Man. "What do you want me to write an essay about it or something?" said Carl. "You're talking to her right now and that's why you didn't help Man." said Shadow. "NO..." said Carl.
"Someone in need of love advice?" said Oscar Carl who was standing right behind them. "WHOA personal space buddy, i'm talking to the gf." said Carl the Man-bikini. "I don't usually get wrapped up in other people's feelings but this is just sad. Let this chapter be a PSA to horny people on the internet." said Shadow. "Yeah, don't worry Carl, you'll find real love someday." said Oscar Carl. "FUCK HEAD! IF YOU INSULT MY QUEEN ONE MORE TIME I'LL GIVE YOU A SPANKING WITH MY LEFT STRAP! HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE SHE ISN'T REAL!" said Carl. "Uh GUYS?" yelled Man. "SHUT UP THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT! If she's fake then why the fuck my pp hard? Answer that, dr. algebra biology man." said Carl. "GUYS I-" said Man. "Carl it's me, I made the account to trick smooth brains like you." said Oscar Carl, tipping his flaming fedora. "Y O U W H A T?!" said Carl. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhh... oh hey Boris." said Man. "BORIS? I need to speak to him." said Shadow, jumping into the hole. Carl shoved Oscar Carl into the hole and then jumped in after him.
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Man in a Kermit the Frog suit had sunken significantly deeper into the hole, so the gang fell for hours, at least if felt like hours. "HEY! Guys! What's good, nice of you to drop in!" said Boris. "What the fuck is this place?" asked Shadow. "Oh this? This is my house, here in Crab Hell." said Boris. Carl was trying to beat the shit out of Oscar Carl with his straps, when he realized they were in hell. "Why are we in hell? Who's that?!" said Carl. "Oh him? That's my son, Boris Jr." said Boris. "Where's your wife?" asked Oscar Carl. "She died tragically to a man eating clam." said Boris, caressing a picture of her with his oily claws. "Sorry for your loss, I also lost someone close to me." said Shadow. "Y'know I lost my foreskin when I was a wee lad." said Oscar Carl. "Shit dude I just learned about racism, that stuff sucks." said Carl. "WHEW THAT WAS A KING SIZED ONE." said Man, coming out of Boris' bathroom.
"Boris, I need you to join my basketball team so I can bring Maria back to life. If you join, maybe there's a chance I could bring your wife back." said Shadow. "HAH ARE YOU KIDDIN? I'M GLAD SHES'S DEAD! She was so fucking annoying, like 'OOO BORIS YOU NEED TO CALL THE EXTERMINATOR, THOSE MAN EATING CLAMS ARE SOOO DEADLY! WAAAH!' and would you look where all that nagging got her? Dead. Score one for me." said Boris, turning on championship crab golf. "We are going to beat you to death." said Shadow. "NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT! JUNIOR! JUNIOR! .... JUNIOR GET THE GUN!" yelled Boris. Boris Jr. was busy beating his meat while listening to Crab Rave on full blast so he didn't notice. "RDM! RDM!" yelled Boris, before scuttling into the kitchen. "GET HIM!" said Shadow.
Man in a Kermit the Frog Suit then lunged into the kitchen and ate an entire Chicken. "Succulent." said Man. "Don't worry guys, I've got this." said Carl. "Oscar, I know you're jealous that i'm the superior Carl but I need you to lend me your hat." said Carl. "I've got a better idea." said Carl, throwing the Man Bikini at Boris. "MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE!" said Boris. "I GOT THE GUN DAD!" said Boris Jr. with the double barrel shot gun. He immediately shot a hole in Oscar Carl's Great Wolf Lodge ears, so Oscar Carl immediately shot both of his legs. "I SURRENDER! JUST GET THESE PANTALOONS OFF MY EYES." said Boris. "Oooh crab legs." said Man in a Kermit the Frog suit, consuming them like Avery consumes Shaq's Day Out stories.
"Alright how do we get out of hell?" asked Boris. "Shouldn't you know that?" asked Shadow. "Actually I usually just have Eddie drive me." said Boris.
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"!bring Shadow. !bring Oscar Carl. !bring Boris. !Bring Man in a Kermit the Frog Suit. !Bring Carl the Manbikini." said an admin. "Ok which one of you guys was RDMing?" said the admin. "HEY LOOK IT'S THE SECOND SEASON OF PANTY AND STOCKING!" said Carl. "WHAT? WHERE!" said the admin frantically looking around. It was then that Shadow shot him 38 times in the chest. "Welcome to the team guys, follow me back to head nickels." said Shadow, as they all sped back to Castle Shadow.
