Shadow came back to his castle and Turner immediately hopped in the pool table. Snas also came back as if he was never gone. "HEY GUYS." said Shadow followed by a studio applause. Shadow the began inspecting the castle to see if it was spic and span as he instructed. He started by licking the ceiling fan, smelling the bowl of fruit, and even swimming down his toilet pipes. "Hmm. It looks... acceptable." said Shadow. "ooooOOOOOO-" started Bolbi. "Except for one little thing." said Shadow, noticing there was an entire half of the castle missing. "Uhhh." said everyone. "Alright Lolobubu, the jigs up, you can come out." said Kretmi, causing Mr. Lolobubu to recede from a sponge. "Listen pal, the magic eraser is called magic for a reason, you can't just try and erase a picture of Thomas the tank engine hentai with it and not expect it to accidentally erase part of reality." said Lolo bubu.
"What? Who the fuck cares nobody uses that part of the castle anyway. I was referring to this." said Shadow, holding a tiny price of construction paper in his hairy fingers. "IT SAYS DEAR SHA-" started Sheen before everyone through every nearby object at him at once, including a gmod 1 ton weight, a ball stretcher, and a kidney bean. "Oh yeah that's just a note Mii King left to let you know he's still existing as part of the team. Not sure where the fuck he is though." said Snas. "Whatever, if Nolan's happy, then I guess I am. Now we need to get George here right now as then I'm done." said Shadow, no-clipping over to school where it was last period.
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George was waiting for him on the roof of the school, next to his giant bird thing. I don't remember what they're called because I never finished the game. The motion controls are cool for like ten seconds and then it's just like 'dear fuck just let me play this game with a real controller' and- "Would you finish up?" said George, chewing some bird food to regurgitate into its mouth. "George. B-ball. Now." said Shadow, who didn't want to waste anymore time. "SHADOW! BUDDY! What's good?" said George. "Come with me, now." said Shadow. "Listen pal, I know I purposely tried to get you in trouble earlier today, but why can't we just vibe here for a minute?" said George, drinking a smoothy. "AAAHHHHHH!!!" screeched Smoothy as he jumped off the roof, but luckily landed on a conveniently placed bounce pad, which only made his next fall even harder.
1 minute later, George spoke up. "Shaddy Baby, if you think I didn't know you'd come prancing up here in your ballerina jet shoes and beg me to join your little club, you're a little retarded in the cranium. And you're gonna have to try harder than that to get ME, George, the coolest g in school to join your chess squadron." said George. "You're not the coolest. I'M the coolest." said Shadow, as the reflection in his egg white eyeballs killed an ant 8 yards away. "For Shadow's side special, he wields a gun." said Sakurai's English voice over guy from nowhere. "He does? I gotta get going right now oh god oh shit oh fuck." said George, hopping on his bird thing and taking off. "SO LONG BOY! I'LL SEND YOU A POSTCARD FROM PARADISE FALLS!" said George, not noticing he just went through a floating traffic stop right into a 360 degree 180 way intersection. Just then, a Balloon/Casino blocked his path causing him to goofy yell.
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Luckily, right before he hit the vehicle, Shadow found a jet pack, a rocket launcher, and 19 scopes lying around. He then shot and killed George's bird, causing him to fall right out of the sky. "I'M FALLING RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY!" said George, as he then landed on the bounce pad, bouncing him right back where he started, the roof. "WHEW! I could really use a kool-aid after that one, what do you say?" said George. "Silence, Brand." said Shadow. "uh.. SIKE!" said George, using his pompadour to try and fence the shit out of Shadow T. Hedgehog. In fact, he did manage to trim his knuckle hair. "My knuckle hair! That was a Christmas present from Knuckles!" thought Shadow, shifting into turbo edgy mode. Shadow jet skied over to George and snapped his pompadour like a slim jim. "AHA! Now you HAVE to submit!" said Shadow. "SAYS WHO?!" asked George. "We have a pool table." said Shadow. "I'M IN!" said George, putting on his New Jersey.
Shadow and George then walked down the side of the road back to the castle. After a few minutes of silence they slipped into a mid-day bull sesh. "So what the fuck is this about again?" asked George, doing his standard anime arms up pose. "You're the final member of a basketball team that my- business partner has asked me to assemble. He said that if I assemble the team for him, he'll bring my- other business partner back to life. "OOOO You gotta give me all the deets come on Shadow, I won't tell ANYONE, do I really look like the kind of douche who would gossip?" said George, currently posting Leonard Von Stangle's noods to twitter dot com.
"Maria's been gone for a long time now. Life just hasn't been the same without her." said Shadow. "Is that why you're so edgy all the time?" asked George. "NO, I've been edgy since I was born. You see, it all started years ago, when I was a wee hedgehog...
*edgy flashback transition*
"Congratulations! It's a Hedgehog!" said a doctor to nobody in specific. "Who are you talking to?" asked Baby Shadow. "Son. You're at least 15 seconds old now, so I think it's time we had this talk. You're parents are dead. "WHO COULD DO SUCH A HORRIBLE THING?!" yelled Bapy Shadow. "I'm a doctor, not an investigator. Also would you mind if I used you as this hospital's mascot, since you are a baby?" said the doctor, before Shadow took out the gun he was born with and shot him to death. It was then that Shadow turned and noticed a girl standing in the doorway. "Who the HELL are you?" said Shadow. My name's Maria, like the closest relative to you who's still alive. You were created by Dr. Egg white's dad, but you accidentally shot him to death in the fetus stage." said Maria. "Damn.. Why are we still here.." said Shadow, noticing he had been alive for almost an entire minute.
"Well your father basically wanted to create a talking hedgehog for some reason, but he dropped his glasses into his lobster tank. He didn't want to lose a fingie so, he just left them there and figured it'd be fine. Of course the lobsters then learned to read English and started to keep a diary, but that's a whole other story. So this egg whites guy was reading the WikiHow article for how to make a talking hedgehog, before it got taken down, and he got to a step that said 'Add Linkin Park CDs, noose rope, and spikey clothing.' He dumped as much of it in as he could find, but then realized that the step actually said 'Add one tablespoon of water.' And the rest is history scooby doo mystery. You are now the single most edgy entity in the entire universe." said Maria.
"That's great and all but who's that." said Shadow, pointing at a man standing behind her. "Hey." said the man, hitting a fat vape. "Shadow, meet Man in a Shadow Suit. Being the single most edgy entity in the universe, and the daughter of a man who's committed tax evasion, several war crimes, and unironically likes oatmeal, we are constantly on the run from the government. This is why I had to hire this man to be you in public appearances." said Maria. "Damn, my life sucks already." said Shadow. "And now it's my life too. But hey, its a living." said Man in a Shadow Suit.
*nega-flashback*
"The three of us had some good times. We used to throw pennies at homeless people together, play music for deaf people, hang nice cock signs in public restrooms, and other wacky chaotic neutral stuff. Until one day, it all went away.. Maria was so young. Why must the good get killed off young?" said Shadow. "What happened, What Happened!" said George, eating some popcorn. "Dr. Eggwhite, the current one, slipped a chaos emerald into her cinnamon toast crunch one morning, and little did he know that it turns out eating giant emeralds isn't good for the body. She died within minutes. I was still relatively young, so I looked to Man in a Shadow Suit for comfort, but he dissipated and never was seen again. At least that's what they said on the news. Apparently he vaped out of existence on a flight to Angola. And from that day on, I became at least 3 times the edgy, and 3 times the price. What do you think of that?" said Shadow.
"Wow Shadow. This hair will not fucking stop sticking up can you help me out here?" said George. Shadow then pooped his pants.
