Little Ones [A Vikklan, Poofless and Merome Fanfiction]

↞Chapter 17↠

Rob's P.O.V.

Getting settled into this new life was an interesting trial but I quickly got used to it, finding the routine that Charlotte had created and worked around it, sleeping when she slept and recording while she either lay on the floor of my office entertaining herself or slept in my arms while I tried to edit. It was difficult at times because I wasn't able to work as much as I wanted nor needed but I was finding this balance that I was able to maintain.

While I was so glad for Charlotte, there were other things on my mind as well. The biggest one was Preston. My heart ached for him and I cursed myself that I hadn't told him about Charlotte at an earlier opportunity so that I could fly her and I out to his home and take care of him for a little while, give him a break. But I couldn't. I couldn't exactly drop the news on him that, hey, after his several years of desperately trying for a child and now the death of his wife, I have a child! I couldn't. I couldn't just drop that on him after this huge blow even though she was disabled and I hadn't really wanted to be in this situation in the first place, but I couldn't just tell him. God, what could I do? I suspected I was the first person outside his family who knew about his wife's death.

Scooping Charlotte up in my arms I carried her into my office once again, using one of those thin strip blanket things to tie her to my chest in a sort of swaddle. She stayed completely calm that way, I think it was my presence, but if she was resting against me she only ever cried if she was hungry, tired or needed changing, and even then she never actually cried. It was more of a squeaky grumble that called my attention to her. I had had a few months to realise this of course, but I was forever grateful for her calmness.

I did try to call Preston more often, just to chat to him and perhaps to distract him from whatever was going on in his mind, but he refused my calls all but one or two times. And I called him at least three times a week for almost two months and he picked up a grand total of once, looking worse than last time with bags under his eyes and he didn't speak either.

Preston listened to me chatter for half an hour before turning and saying he had to go. I was getting really worried by that point but I couldn't up and leave and fly from Canada to freaking Texas with no notice, with a four month old infant. Yeah, not possible.

Speaking of, at four months, a normal infant would be pushing themselves up with their arms while on their stomach. I had been trying to give her the same stimulation that any regular baby but the symptoms of the cerebral palsy were already obvious- when I picked her up she was what I would describe at floppy, she had no muscle tone and she had poor muscle control, barely able to hold something in her hand. The doctors said this could improve, symptoms could be more severe early on and she wasn't hitting her milestones. She should have been pushing her head up, but she wasn't. She was far behind in her development.

"Hey little one." I whispered again, a sentence that was quickly becoming a habit. "You're happy today, huh?" She grinned a toothless grin, hands waving above her head for a moment before putting them back down. She couldn't hold her arms up for that long.

Bouncing her on my knee I set about my daily routine of editing the videos from the night before, one eye on her, headphones only half on and my knee constantly moving to keep her entertained. There was one of those brightly coloured jangly toy hooked to my collar so she didn't have to hold it either, but she still played with it, letting out the occasional gurgle of happiness.

"Love you Charlotte." I whispered, hugging her close. "God, I wish I knew what the future would bring."

----------------------------------------------------

Charlotte was sleeping, having just gone down, when Preston called me. I picked up at once because my heart had started pounding when I saw his name pop up on my computer screen. His face appeared just a moment later, black bags ever present, but he didn't seem to be freaking out, he wasn't crying or sick looking.

"Hey Preston." I said, trying to keep calm. "What's up? Why'd you call?"

"I- I just wanted to talk." He whispered, looking away from the camera. "I can't sleep and I can't concentrate on anything. I just need to be distracted."

"O-okay?" I tried to think for a moment about anything I could say but nothing really came to mind. I couldn't think of anything at all to say, my mind was blank and I literally couldn't think of anything to say. Preston looked away again and flushed red with embarrassment and potentially shame.

"It's okay." He said, moving to end the call. "It doesn't matter."

"Wait!" I cried, making him pause. "Don't go, please! Preston, please. I just can't think of anything right now, just... please, I want to talk to you. I want to know that you're okay."

"I think I'm okay." He mumbled, rubbing his forehead. "I don't know. I've been numb for months."

I paused, and then suddenly realised that I didn't know when she had died. I had assumed it was maybe a few weeks before the call, when Charlotte was about two months old, but now...

"Preston..." I breathed. "How long has it been since she passed?"

"Four months today."

Charlotte was three days old when Brianna passed. Shit.

"Jesus Preston..." I mumbled, words half muffled by my hands. "I can't even imagine what you're feeling... ughhhh I just wish I could fly down there and-"

I cut myself off as the cry of a baby caught my attention and for one heart stopping moment I thought it was Charlotte, that she had woken up and I would have to tell Preston about her, when Preston himself turned around. He was pale, drawn, and gasped in a sharp breath.

"I can- I can explain-" He said between gasps for air, looking like he was almost about to faint. "No... no..."

Preston disappeared for a moment before returning- with an infant in his arms. My jaw dropped open.

"Preston- Preston what!?" I exclaimed-

"This is Liam. Mine and Bri's little boy. She died giving birth to him."