The Love of the Lost

Chapter 8

I looked at Ben with admiration and realized  Evie was right. I had nothing to worry about when I left. And Ben getting me out of class to have fun, he was feeling a little lonely right now too. Our love story wouldn't end just yet. 

He walked me down to the castle gardens and we had a picnic. You know, something normal. 

"Ben, when you were first dating me, what made you stay with me, without the love potion?" I asked, curious. 

He laughed" Well, I'm pretty sure I had always had a crush on you. I mean, remember when you first stepped out of the limo?" My mind flashed to the day that everything changed. 

Ben continued," When we locked eyes, I didn't even remember Audrey was there. She had to pry my hands out of yours. I'm pretty sure she knew what was gonna happen even before we did." He smiled a sad smile. " I wish I could have given her more. What she deserved" He trailed off, looking into the distance. I grabbed his hand. 

"Hey, you did the best you could for Audrey,." I said to him, my mind filtering through the memories of her running off after the coronation, crying.  It was chaos. And I caused that.

"Mal, the thing is, it was my fault. I drove her to be the way she was. I broke her heart. That was me." Ben's voice cracked. He looked down and took a shaky breath. " I never want to make someone hurt like that. I never wanted to hurt someone like that. The way she looked at me afterward, I couldn't look at myself. I still cant look at myself the same way. I'm not that king that everyone wants me to be. I never will be. " 

I was so shocked I didn't speak. I just leaned in and hugged him. The kind of hug that really just put both of our hearts together. Because, to be honest, I had no idea what to say. I had no idea he felt this way. This was all so new, and for me, it was very scary. 

"Ben, you're not at fault for this. She took it the wrong way,  she was the one who hurt me, not you. Plus, I've forgiven her. " I said, finally finding the words I had to say. 

He glanced at me, seemingly hurt. "Mal that's the thing, she didn't just 'take it the wrong way', I hurt her. Then she just reacted. It's like when.... when I hurt you. " 

I couldn't help it, I fell back a little. This wasn't even about Audrey, it was about me. I made him feel that way. I was the one who reacted badly by running off to the isle. I hurt him. And to be honest I never thought about it. I had been so selfish, running off like that. 

"Ben, I-

"Stop. This isn't your fault Mal. I'm saying how it was mine." He stood up. "I'm going back to the castle, I'll see you tonight." He said sadly, kissing me on the cheek. 

This was it, this was what I did. I hurt him too much. The worst part? I thought he was going to do something to hurt us while I was gone. Turns out I did something to hurt us when I was here.