Draco Malfoy Imagines

Prompt list (read)

Request amongst yourself, when y'all request tell me if you want angst, fluff etc...
alright so I fucked up, when you guys request there's numbers please use them

1. Do you ever talk to a person and your heart starts doing some dubstep shit.
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2. I'm nothing but a constant state of internal screaming at this point.
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3. I went to the beach once, 500 years later I still have fucking sand in my shoes.
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4. How long after arriving at someone's house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?
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5. Getting real tired of my own bullshit.
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6.Here's a little song I like to call "I cherish our friendship so I won't tell you I would totally have sex with you if you asked."
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7. A: Do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else  is fast asleep and just walk places and be completely and entirely dedicated to your thoughts?
      B: Yea, but the problem is I don't want to get murdered. You feel me.
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8. Let me sleep in your stupid t-shirts and hold your dumb hand, you piece of shit.
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9. Need a gang to follow me around all day and clap when I make jokes.
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10. You know that feeling when you're not your favourite person's favourite person, and it kind of feels like you're constantly swallowing sand.
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11. Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot.
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12. I express my emotions in long groans at different octaves.
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13. I mean you piss me off, but I'd do anything for you.
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14. Do you ever feel like a 4 times divorced 45 year old woman that smokes cigarettes in her fur coats on a grand piano? Cause I do and it's sad.
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15. Single, not sure how to mingle.
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16. I love it when people rant to me, like yes, I am entrusted with your hate.
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17. My idea of flirting is making fun of each other, until one of us fucks up and says something nice.
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18. A: I hate playing "never have I ever" because I'm a fucking slut.
        B: I hate playing "never have I ever" because I'm a fucking virgin.
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19. Do you live on Elm Street, because you're a nightmare.
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20. Remember your parents told you to take out the trash? I'm the trash. They were telling you to take me out. Date me.
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21. You know, liking someone and pretending you don't is a lot of hard work.
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22. How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked and on top of you?
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23.  A (whispering): I really like you and want to kiss you a lot.
        B: What?
        A: I said you suck.
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24. How do I get over someone I never even dated?
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25. Things I want - snuggles. Things get - struggles.
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26. If you see me and I'm not wearing black, you saw wrong, that's not me.
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27. I hate when It's so hot outside and a bitch tells you to take your jacket off, like bitch no, this is my outfit.
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28. A: I wanna fuck Harry Styles B: Who the fuck is Harry styles C: You mean hairstyles ?
29. If karma doesn't come around and hit you in the face, I will.
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30. A: You don't talk much.
        B: I'm observing your weaknesses since you're so freely verbalizing everything about yourself.
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31.  A: My kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say
         B: Too unrealistic, settle for bondage like the rest of us.
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32. A: Your future self is watching you right now through your memories.
        B: Not if I get drunk enough.
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33. You know it's really rude to talk while I'm interrupting.
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34. Is "no" an emotion, because I feel it?
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35.  I always look sleep deprived, is that hot?
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36. I'm kind of hurt, kind of offended, kind of not planning on saying anything about it.
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37. I don't trust people who look good with messy hair.
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38.  I may be a shitty friend, but I'm your shitty friend.
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39. I aspire to get to that level of hot when my hair looks like shit and I smell like black coffee and yesterday's eyeliner is smudged under my eyes, but I still look fine as hell.
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40.  I don't "dress to impress", I dress to depress. I want to look so good that people hate themselves.
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41. Behind every great man is me, checking out that ass.
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42. The future is now, old man.
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43. Seriously, all you do is bitch.
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44. Are you trying to seduce me? Because so far you're doing a great job.
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45. Forgive and forget? More like resent and remember.
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46. I'm that kind of person who between two choices always picks the wrong one.
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47. I know what you're going through, I read "Call Me By Your Name".
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48. A: Excuse me, fuck you B: when and where?
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49. Why allow yourself to be full of hate, when you can be full of pasta instead?
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50. I'm an angry person and I want to let it all out and be an asshole, but I'm also a nice person and I don't want to actually hurt anyone's feelings, do you feel me?