Queen Of Peace - Ivar The Boneless (book 2)

Chapter 33

Ailbe stormed inside, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Maids scurried away from her path of destruction as she walked inside with anguish in her heart.

"Ivar!" She yelled with an anger that she couldn't even recognize within herself.

Ivar entered, looking at her. She knew. He could tell she knew. He'd tried to protect her, tried to make the difficult choices without it weighing on her delicate conscience. But she knew. Of course she knew.

He didn't regret his actions. He'd do it again a thousand times. Not just to protect himself, but to protect her and their child. He'd burn down all of Kattegat if he had to. Their sacrifice was necessary.

"Ailbe." He greeted, pushing back his concern as best he could.

"Is that all you have to say?" She yelled, tears still freefalling down her cheeks. "You- You- You killed them all, Ivar! Your own people. You burned them alive!"

"They were not my people." He argued back. "I did this to protect you! To protect Kattegat!"

Ailbe paused. Still distraught, she laughed bitterly at his response, eyes glistening with fresh tears. "You did this for me? You murdered them for me?" She questioned. "Or did you kill them to keep yourself on the throne?"

He fell silent. Looking at the pain in her eyes with no real answer. Couldn't it be both? Why was that so wrong? Slowly, he stepped closer. His voice was lower and arguably more dangerous as he spoke. "What would you have me do? Let them kill us? Let Bjorn or Lagertha take the throne?"

"Violence should not answer violence!" She yelled in exasperation. "Murder is not the answer."

"So what now? Hm? You side with them over me? Do you not love me anymore?" He retorted furiously.

In all their time together, they had scarcely fought. But this was not just a fight. Ailbe could feel reality slipping away from her. She could feel everything turning inside out. The whole world began to make sense.

"My home was burned too." Her voice was raspy from tears but Ivar heard it as clear as day. He froze. The room fell deathly silent. Both of them could hear their own hearts and the distant agonized screams from outside as people mourned their loved ones. "I need to know, Ivar." She spoke again, pain in her voice. "Did you kill them?"

Ivar was silent. He'd dreaded this moment since news came of her village. He'd dreaded that precise question. The pain in her beautiful features, the agony that seeped through her, it all made him sigh. Slowly, he gulped back his pride.

"They poisoned you, Ailbe." He answered dryly.

Ailbe felt like she could hear her glass heart smash against the floor. She held a hand to her mouth to muffle the anguished sobs that followed. Everything she had done had been a lie. Everything she'd believed was false. "Ivar-"

"I did it." He answered impatiently. "I sent Whitehair as soon as I knew it was them to kill your mother and sister. I didn't know that they'd burn your village. I thought it would only be those two."

Finally she had her answer, and it was one she dreaded most gruesomely. She'd threatened her brother. She'd defended Ivar and sent everyone who tried to save her away. She dismissed Thora. She dismissed Hvitserk. She dismissed Ardgal.

But the worst pain of all wasn't knowing what he'd done and how she had blindly followed him at the expense of everyone else. The worst pain wasn't knowing that he was evil, as she had always claimed he wasn't. The worst pain was knowing that even though he was evil, she still loved him. She was still devoted to him.

She clutched her heart, hoping the beating would slow down as it felt like it would explode through her chest. Her tears grew more frantic as she tried to stay strong and push them back.

"They were right." She whispered. "You are a monster."

Ivar looked at her in pure shock, feeling his own heart break. He knew by the look on her face that she would never forgive him.

For so long he thought that he could truly be happy. He was foolish enough to think he could have it all. But, like always, he watched as it was torn away from him. His own heart was stood in front of him, telling him that she thought he was a monster. That she finally believed what everyone had always told her. That she'd lost faith.

"I love you." He told her sincerely, making her bite back more tears.

"I hate you!" She yelled, heart tearing in two as she spoke. "I hate that I still love you! I hate that I'm in love with a man like you."

And arguably, that in itself hurt more than her simply hating him.

Ailbe shook her head, wiling away tears, quickly storming towards the door.

"Ailbe don't be stupid!" He yelled. "Don't leave!"

But it was too late. She was gone.