Walls

Two of Us

I promised you I'd do this
So all of this is all for you
Oh, I swear to God you're living
Through everything I'll ever do

🌈

Louis sits down again. This is a really hard song to talk about.

"Yeah, this eh, this was a song that definitely I felt like I needed to get off my chest. Ehm, I feel like...until I wrote this song I wasn't really gonna pick up any real momentum, I spoke before in interviews about the fact that I felt like I needed to write this song, and other songs kind of felt insignificant to a certain degree before I wrote this. Uhm, and this song, you know is about losing someone but still being eh, hopeful and liking your life in a hopeful way. And it's been a really special song for me. It's been a really ah, it's been a really special song for me. It's been really incredible."

Louis signals for a break. This is too hard. He misses his mum so much. He'd been such a mess when she died, spiraling really out of control. He took every drug he could find so he didn't have to feel the pain and grief of losing his mum. Once again Harry had been there for him, taking care of him, begging him to seek help. They were broken apart then but Harry had shown up the minute he heard what happened.

Louis had finally caved in when Harry had burst out crying, saying
that he loved him so much and he couldn't stand on the sideline watching him kill himself. Harry had told him that he had nightmares about turning the tv on or opening a paper to read that he had overdosed and died. Harry had begged him to get help. He had cursed at him for doing this to him over and over again and finally he had kissed him. Louis's eyes teared up from just the thought of that night. Harry held him for the rest of the night while they both cried. The next morning Louis had called a rehab center and got himself admitted. Harry drove him there and that was the last time he saw him. He had managed to get clean and get through his grief.

When he called Harry a couple of months later Harry was happy for him and told him how proud he was. He also told him that he couldn't do it anymore. That he couldn't go through another round of a stormy relationship with Louis. That even if he was clean now there was so much baggage. Louis had to let him go.

"So the messages I got online have been absolutely incredible and I also met some people and they told me their stories about what this song and the lyrics means to them. So, for me that's incredible."

This is something he can be 100 percent honest about and it feels really good. Greg cuts again.

They continue when Louis had the time to collect himself.
"Ehm, I never really had, ehm, too many situations like this in the band. Obviously there is a different emotional way with Two of Us and the lyric and the concept. So, you know, to have these encounters with people where, you know, sometimes they're in tears, sometimes they're like just excited to tell me and just having that moment and that connection with me music and me fans I think is what we all thrive to do somewhat."

"Really beautiful Louis. Do you need a break?" Greg asks after he pauses the camera.

Louis shakes his head and waits for Greg to press play again.
"To be honest, when we wrote it, when we wrote the song it was actually... as it sometimes is...even if it was emotionally heavy it was a bit more clinical, a bit more professional in the room because I knew there was a responsibility with this song and I wanted to get it right. So, to be honest, the nerves didn't really kick in until the first live performance and then I think I really digested everything that this song meant and I felt the weight of the people in the room listening to it. Ehm, but in the room it was professional."

They cut again and Louis goes for another smoke. Talking about this song always upsets him. Performing it is even worse but he is glad that he wrote it. Losing his mum changed everything.
She had been his rock, the one who kept him grounded.

His thoughts go to the person he lost recently, his sister Fizzie. He is still in a little bit of a shock. He had tried to help her get clean but failed. Now he at least understood how Harry must have felt when he used. He feels ashamed of what he put him through. He came out of it alive, his sister didn't. Life isn't fair.

He had managed to get through his loss without turning into drugs this time. That hadn't been an option. His family was broken and he couldn't do that to them when his sister just died from a drug overdose. The thought had crossed his mind, of course, it had but he's grown up now. He learned how to deal with his emotions and not keep them all bottled up. He's different now.

Harry called him the minute the news about his sister had hit the papers. Sweet Harry, so concerned about his well-being, so afraid that he would fall off the wagon again. Harry loves his family as well and he had been truly devastated over Fizzies death. They had talked for a while and Louis had to muster all his willpower not to beg Harry to take him back. It's too late. Harry moved on.