Walls

Always you

Wasting my time when it was always you
Always you
I was chasing the high but it was always you
Always you

🌈

"Ehm, this is an old one. I wrote this again at least two years ago. Ehm, I actually teased this out on me Instagram a while ago. I think it was me Instagram and ever since the fans have been excited to hear it. It was one of those things where you know, I had maybe eighteen tracks to choose from for the album, and that one ehm, was touch and go, to be honest, but I knew that the fans really wanted to hear it and for some reason even if they hadn't heard it they developed this connection to the song already."

That part was at least true. Louis thinks about what to say next. Greg shouts "action."

"I think, I think because I teased the song out there the fans had just like developed a connection to this song already. I mean, it was literally five seconds, ten seconds of the song. Ehm, which is incredible, you know? And I think also because I teased it they would be pretty frustrated never to hear it so again, it was a bit of a no-brainer to put it on the record."

God, he already said that. He's so bad at this. Greg asks him to talk about the lyrics instead. He hates that part. No way he'll say this is a song about Eleanor but he can at least phrase it like it would sound like it could be about her. Then his management will be pleased.

"Lyrically this song is a break-up song really. It's about, you know, having just broken up with someone, seeing all this things ehm and places, and objects, whatever it is that reminds you of this person. Ehm, another one of these quiet autographic lyrics from me. Ehm, kind of talking about, you know, being on the road with One direction and visiting all these amazing places but it quite doesn't feel the same without that person."

Or being on the road with someone you love but broke up with and you are so far away from each other even when you're in the same room so you snort a lot of coke instead to ease the pain. Or you travel around with your fake girlfriend but wished it was him instead. Yeah, he can't say that. He just hopes Harry believes him when he's listening to the song. That he made all the wrong decisions, chose the wrong things instead of him. Got high instead of just being with him.

This song is about that time in 2015 when he had been totally out of control. He and Harry had broken up once again and he couldn't deal with it. So he went out on clubs and got high as a kite and slept around. He'd been so fucking stupid. Even got a girl pregnant in the process. Why he even slept with girls in the first place was a mystery to him. Maybe not, he was desperately trying to convince himself that he was straight. He was always too high to care who he slept with anyway because it wasn't Harry. He tried to fill a void and failed miserably. He'd been an utter mess.

Harry had cheated on him. He had kissed someone else on a drunk night out. Louis had been absolutely devastated at the time but now he saw it differently. They had been so young and they had been put under so much pressure. Their relationship was bound to break no matter how much they loved each other. His drug use hadn't helped a bit to ease the situation either. But they are older now. They can make it work this time. He's sure about it.

He wishes that they just could sit down and talk so he could say all those things he never said. He has probably said the same things a thousand times already but this time it means something. It's just not empty words and promises of doing better, to be better. He's a different man now. He grew up.

He goes inside again to continue bullshitting his way through his tracks.