Walls

Habit

Took some time
'Cause I've ran out of energy
Playing someone
I've heard I'm supposed to be
Honestly, I don't have to choose anymore
But it's been ages, different stages
Come so far from Princess Park
I'll always need ya
In front of me

🌈

Louis gets ready to talk about Habit. This song is just too obvious, like so many of his songs. How the hell will he swing this?

"It's a concept that started out as kind of my relationship with...with my job at that time. I was kind of having a love-hate relationship with it and ehm, I think it was when I was releasing music that I didn't think represented me as much. Ehm, so that's where Habit came from and the feeling of, you know, not be able to put it down."

What is he saying? This is clearly a lovesong for a special person and not his job! Christ!

"And also it was written as a lovesong as well obviously. This alludes to a girl as well. Ehm, but in general again, another song I'm really proud of. I think the melody is great, ehm, a shout out to Wayne Hector there. Amazing at melody always. Ehm, the chorus is about, you know, the idea of habit, and as I said, it was written with my career in mind of the time. Ehm, but the verses is kind of dressed up a little more descriptive. Ehm, and I reference where I used to live with the band. Ehm, a flat complex called Princess Park. I guess some of the fans already knows that place."

Louis just wants to burst out laughing. He's so full of shit. The fans know that Princess Park is where he and Harry used to share a flat. Sure, this song is totally about his job and not about the love of his life. Who will ever believe that? Well, he put in the word girl so the management would be pleased but no way in hell he was gonna say that the song was specifically about Eleanor! This was an important song in his quest to reach out to Harry. He had put so much in it. That he knew that he messed up, again and that he was sorry. How much he misses him and needs him. That he's done pretending to be someone he's not, because he really is.

"Uhm, and musically I think it's Steve Robson doing what he does best. Ehm, lovely electric guitar throughout the song and just, you know, not over complicated with the production. Just kind of lets the music and the melody and the lyrics do the talking without anything too programmed or massive."

"Cut!" Greg shouts.

Louis goes for another smoke. Fuck, he should really quit. He fonds over all the memories he has of him and Harry in their flat at Princess Park. It had been the best of times. Harry making all sorts of food in the kitchen. How they used to dance around there, laughing and kissing. The evenings in front of the tv, cuddled up together on the couch. The nights when they shared a bed. Harry always wanted to be the little spoon. It was adorable. All the talks they had and how much fun they had discovering sex together. They had been truly happy together in their own flat where they could ignore the outside world for a while. Where they weren't a part of a successful boyband and were told they couldn't be a couple in public. Where they didn't have to fake date, other people. Simply, where they could be Harry and Louis and nothing more or nothing less.

He had tried to move on. He had even dated a few other men but everybody is just a pale comparison to Harry. There is no one like him and he will never stop loving the man who captures his heart at age eighteen. So instead he decided to become the man Harry deserves. The one without the drama and bullshit who couldn't talk about how he feels. He has spent a fair amount of money on therapy but he doesn't regret a dime. It has helped him. He finally feels good about himself. He has finally accepted that he's gay and he isn't afraid anymore. The only thing he is afraid of is that Harry doesn't love him anymore. That he won't get another chance to make it right this time. That it's too late.

Louis sighs again and puts the cigarette out. He needs to go inside and finish this track by track. He wonders if his management will make him re-do the whole thing if he doesn't dedicate at least one song to his girlfriend? Louis smirks and decides to try and get away with it.

He has already given that answer in interviews. The fans are confused. He likes to catch up with their opinions. So far they love his songs and he's really grateful. It took him a long time to write this album. He read somewhere that they love the honesty in the songs until he starts to explain what they're about, then it makes no sense. They're so right!

There's still a lot of Larry shippers out in the world even if he has denied it so many times. They are persistent. That makes him hopeful. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to finally come out if he ever would get Harry back?