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1.


taeyong: how much do you love me?

jaehyun: i would move mountains for you.

taeyong: can you get me a glass of water?

jaehyun: let's not go too crazy.


2.


jungwoo: can we go to a haunted house?

yuta: what's wrong with the one we live in?

jungwoo: WHAT?

yuta: have you ever seen doyoung in the morning? that shit scared the shit out of me.


3.


jaehyun: are you okay?

taeil: yes, why?

jaehyun: because you asked the clerk at the store earlier if damage repair shampoo also works on emotions.


4.


[97' making weird noises]

ten: what are you doing?

jaehyun: our mating call.

ten: oh? i have a mating call too.

winwin: really? what is it?

ten: daddy.

johnny: [teleports to him]

johnny: yes baby?


5.


taeyong: please, jaehyun... after everything we've gone through together... you can't do this.

jaehyun: i'm sorry, taeyong.

taeyong: i'm begging you... don't do it.

jaehyun: it has to be done.

taeyong:

jaehyun:

taeyong:

jaehyun, placing a draw 4 card: uno.


6.


doyoung: the human life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach... warmed by the sun, unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life.

jungwoo: are you okay? 

doyoung: i wish i was a croissant.


7.


winwin: take me to the art museum and hold my hands.

yuta: but they said not to touch the masterpieces.

winwin: you smooth motherfucker-


8.


johnny: [coughs violently]

jungwoo: don't die.

johnny: don't tell me what to do.


9.


taeyong: I PUT FAIRY LIGHTS UP IN OUR DORM AND THEY'RE STUCK ON EXTREME STROBE AND I CAN'T STOP THEM!

taeyong: IT'S LIKE I'M AT A DISCO THIS IS NOT FUN!

johnny: [trying to hold back his laughter] seems like there's a-

johnny: ... panic at the disco.

taeyong: SHUT UP YOU WET RAG THIS IS NOT FUNNY!


10.


kun: are you a practicing homosexual?

yuta: i don't need to practice, i'm very good at it.


11. 


doyoung: at least i'm going to die doing something that i love.

taeyong: and that is?

doyoung: dying.


12.


yuta: am i in hell?

doyoung: no, yuta. if you were, you'd be on the throne and the devil would be packing.


13.


johnny: why are you calling me at three in the morning?

jungwoo: i did something bad, something very bad.

johnny: put the corpse on ice, i'm on my way.

jungwoo: what? no, it's not- why would i--


14.


[johnny as a pilot]

johnny: [over intercom] we're running out of fuel.

passengers, realizing they're in the middle of the ocean: [start panicking]

johnny: don't worry, we'll land somewhere soon.

passengers: [start to relax]

johnny: probably somewhere in all this water.


15.


doyoung: hey.

yuta: hey, doyoung. it's good to see you, but if you're here, then who's guarding hell?


16.


taeil: i just got back from the convenience store with jaehyun and they asked him if he has any id.

taeil: he pulled out his keys and said, "i have this keyring that says jaehyun on it."


17.


jungwoo: AAH!

jungwoo: why are you dressed so scary?

kun: [dressed as doyoung] it's halloween.


18.


winwin: how can you eat when there's a dead person right there?

yuta: what? am i supposed to share?


19.


johnny: hey, look. the milk expires tomorrow.

ten, hinting at their anniversary: speaking of tomorrow, it's a pretty special day, isn't it?

johnny: well not for anyone who drinks that milk.


20.


yuta: i'm bisexual, so i can only be attracted to two things.

yuta: i've chosen ice cream and winwin.

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