Fresh Beginnings

big brothers

"Are you ready to go " blake asked as I came into view

That's when he realised I was crying

Not the ones you cry when your happy but sad

Imagine waiting for eight years only for your brother to disown you two days after your birthday

I hated that we were related... This is the third person to disown me

And about the timbers ..I felt like a burden ..since I came they have just been problems

I like to imagine their life before I came

Pathetic
Slut
Useless
Disowned

My subconscious mind kept telling me making me hate myself even more

I wanted to die so badly

Blake came and hugged me pulling me to his chest. .he couldn't even drive because of me
But I just couldn't let him go .... I kept my face hidden on his chest tears running freely

Am I really a burden to them ? If only I could read their eyes and know what is truly happening

I promise when I get better I'll go see da- dexter and tell him everything I really needed him

Blake wrapped a protective arm around me and took out his phone ... I felt a buzz before a voice started speaking

"Hi man ... can you pick me and my sis up we're at dazzle street ...just come with a taxi "

He didn't wait for the response and just hang up

"What did he say to you" Blake asked

He looked angry

Not 'you ate my pizza' more like 'I'm gonna kill you '

I always thought he was a chill guy....

"I don't know ... Blake I'm sorry for being a burden "

"No sister of mine is a burden ... you understand that and whatever he said is not true "

"I feel like it's not but it still stings"

My eyes started becoming heavier

Last thing I remember seeing was a man pull over before I shut my eyes

The next morning
I woke up in my room but at the same time it wasn't

It had a slightly smaller bed and a few posters

It all led up to one believe ... I was kidnapped

I was about to run off when I felt a slow but heavy breathing

Blake? Of course it had to be blakes room

I slowly got out of bed and went to my room

I entered the bathroom and saw my face

Gosh I looked horrible

My eyes were swollen and puffy red .... I had a bit of makeup smashed in my face

I knew I said I wouldn't see him again but I had to

Not him him but dexter my dad

He always knew how to cheer me up but not today ... It had to be I don't know maybe tomorrow or next week

If you hadn't notice we closed school

.... I washed my face and took a long hot relaxing shower

I mean I could look worse

I ended up on a black hoodie and jungle green shorts

I did a two peace sign with my hand and gently went down for breakfast

I enter to see all siblings. ... just looking at them made me want to stop my negative self

'I gotta be strong for them ' I reminded myself

I sat on my usual spot between Jayden and lucas

"So how was the concert " lucas said wiggling his eyebrows

I guess Blake didn't tell them and I was greatful

We all had a loud thug and followed the noise to see Blake his head on the table

"I told you guys not to mention the concert " Blake glared at lucas
Who just shrugged and raised his hands up in surrender

I realised Jackson was a waste of time instead of crying useless tear for the one sibling who dislikes me I should instead smile at the 8 who adore me