Fresh Beginnings

break down

I woke the next day putting on my  uniform
I pass by the twins and tyler's room before leaving

They were all still sleeping but my attention seemed to be focused with the boy on the grey shorts

Hayden. ...

Should I really miss on a lifetime event just to pick him up

I mean I can always pick him up on other days

Yeah now he's being selfish .... Once he's older he'll understand  ... I'll just pick him up tomorrow and even get him ice cream as a treat

Adjusting my straps I head to school

Later
But what if it's something important and he wants me to come

I argue back

But what if it's not

"What's the answer miss timbers" our cruel maths teacher asks

I turn to Damien and he mouths 'x= to 5 '

"Um X is 5 "

"Good now as I was saying..." the teachers give a meaningful look

Later
Here I am in my P.E shorts feeling bad

"Katie concentrate " Diana nudges me

"katie I'd like you to show us by running upto to the field then coming back "

I have to do this

Instead i run the opposite way ignoring the yell and finally reach school

I make a quick phone call to carter

"is Hayden home "

"No he got detention " he says and I hang up

I was about to enter when I feel some commotion

I look to see Hayden being beaten black and blue

"Hey leave him alone " I shout at the boys

"And who might you be mlady "
A guy says

"Your worst nightmare ... now leave "

" I'm  afraid we can't " another says

"Just go ka.... " my baby can't even talk

I decide to bring my fighting skills and fight all the 4 guys

"Now leave before I hurt you even worse"

And I saw one of the literally cry

I hug Hayden "I j-just w-a-n- t my big sister b-back"

"Hey hey stop crying I'm over here ...feel my wrist it's me  "

Then his breathing started hinging

A panic attack

I went to Google and searched what to do

"I want you to follow my breathing and keep calm " I say reassuring

"Now tell me what's wrong "

"I feel li- like am....am...The ...m. .is..take mistake "

"Shush you're not and I was angry at the time you're all my brothers and I love that and maya is my sister ... forget anything I said "

"Katie can you sing me a song "

"Okay but close your eyes "

The song if you want to skip
Insecurities

Isabelle Foster

I have insecurities
I try to ignore them but it's hard
When you feel you're not good enough
I am antisocial
I feel like everyone is judging me
Based off of what they see
But I'm perfect in all my ways
Don't matter what happened today
Just shake it off and restart
Because tomorrow's a brand new day
I'm positive and smart
I have a good heart
At least that's what I tell myself
To keep away the dark thoughts

I tend to compare myself
With others girls I see
Around my school
'Cause they're so cool
I'm always the last option
No matter how hard I try to be
What everyone wants to see
But I'm perfect in all my ways
Don't matter what happened today
Just shake it, off and restart
Because tomorrow's a brand new day
I'm positive and smart
I have a good heart
At least that's what I tell myself
To keep away the dark thoughts
I know I'm not the only one
I know more people
Have insecurities
So listen to me
You are perfect in all your ways
Don't matter what happened today
Just shake it off and restart
Because tomorrow's a brand new day
You're positive and smart
You have a good heart
At least that's what I'm telling you
'Cause it's the absolute truth

Song over

"Katie ?"

"Yeah "

"I forgive you "

Then he pulls me in a hug