Chapter Eleven: Hard Decision

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Mary Elizabeth had foreseen that difficulties would develop as Angelo began his life as a girl and had done considerable research on the Internet about transgendered children, but could find nothing about dealing with a disagreeing CPS.

Her friend, Sharon, had grown fond of Angela and wished, too, that the child could continue to be female. Yet, Sharon had warned: "I'm not sure Child Protective Services won't accuse you of sexual abuse of a child in assisting him to dress up like that. They'll even accuse you of forcing him, to take him from you."

"Oh, Sharon," Mary Elizabeth exclaimed as the two sipped wine in the shopping mall's cocktail lounge while Angelo and Tonya hung out browsing the clothing stores on Saturday night. "This happened so fast, and Angelo wanted it so badly. The child needs to be a girl. You can see it in her."

"I know, Lizzie, but he arrived as a boy and very quickly he was all girl. The bedroom, the clothes. Everything was already there for him and the CPS lady knew how bad you wanted a daughter."

"He wanted it."

"I know, but you should have moved slower. The agency is going to use everything they can to take him if they don't believe this. You've got to be very careful."

"Sharon, as much as I hate it, I know you're right."

Mary Elizabeth thought back over this conversation as she prepared supper the following evening. She realized the wisest course now was to turn the lovely, lively, happy Angela back into being Angelo, the boy, for now.

"Mommy," Angela began at supper that night. "What's the matter? Did I do something wrong? You unhappy with me?"

"Oh, no, darling, not with you. Just got stuff on my mind, work stuff, you know?"

"Well, you hardly seemed happy when I told you about the prom dress. And, you said hardly anything at supper tonight."

Mary told Angela that they'd talk more after cleaning up the supper dishes.

They sat down in the living room after cleaning up, joining each other on the couch.

Mary Elizabeth put her arm around Angelo's slender shoulders as she began to explain how Anna Simms had come for a visit, and wondered why Angelo's room still was so girlish in decorations.

"I'm afraid, honey, you're going to have to begin to wear boy clothes again, particularly when we leave the house. And, we're going to have to change your room to be more boyish."

"Mommy? I can't. I won't." He started to cry.

Mary Elizabeth drew the child tighter against her body. Angelo was shaking with sobs now. "I'm a girl. I'm a girl."

Angelo pushed out of Mary Elizabeth's arms and ran crying to his room. The foster mom waited for a few minutes, and then went into the room. She took a swat on the edge of the bed, next to the sobbing tender child.

So weak and delicate, she thought. How can this child possibly live in this world as a boy?

Angelo's eyes were full of tears as Mary put a comforting hand on the child's shoulder.

"Look," she said, forcing Angelo to sit up straight. "Now listen to me. Listen to me carefully."

"Yes, mommy."

"The only way you are going to be able to stay in this house with me is if you live as a boy. Otherwise, they'll take you away from me. They'll say I abused you by turning you into a girl."

"But mommy, I always was a girl."

"I know how you feel honey, but to them you're a boy. So we will have to put on a good show for Miss Simms and her agency to show them you belong here. You'll have to look and act like a boy."

"But, mommy. I'll forget. I feel like a girl."

Mary Elizabeth laughed. "I know that you're my girl; but we'll have to make you a boy again, at least in any way the social workers can see. Honey, we'll fix it up so that you can still be a girl sometimes and that'll be our secret, but most of the time, for now anyways, well . . . "

More tears trickled down Angelo's cheeks. "Yes, mommy. But can it be Tanya's and Heather's secret, too?"

"I suppose we can arrange that."

Mary Elizabeth took the sweet child in her arms, recognizing how vulnerable he was, so defenseless, so ill-equipped to be in the world of men and boys. Yet, she knew, if she was going to be allowed to keep the child in her home, she would have to give up her desire to raise the child as "Angela," the daughter she always wanted and who the child always wanted to be.

The foster mother began crying, holding Angela even more tightly in her arms. Her tears, she realized were as much for Angelo as for herself.

Both of them had been enjoying their time as mother and pretty daughter, but for now, that dream would be ending, and a new chapter would begin for Mary Elizabeth and her pretty foster child.

Mary was determined and she would do anything to keep Miss Simms and the agency from taking Angelo away from her.

"I love you, my child. As long as you want to be with me, I'll do whatever I can to keep you here."

"I know mommy. I love being with you so much. I don't wanna lose you either."

"Tell you what, Angela," the foster mother said. "Why don't you pick out the prettiest dress? Then, well dry your tears, and you and I will go out to the Cake 'n Goodies place for a scrumptious dessert. Just one last time as Angela and mommy. OK?"

"That'll be so nice," Angelo replied.

He picked out a layered, light violet colored mini-dress, with spaghetti straps. It was highlighted with a darker violet color along the bodice and hemline. He found costume jewelry, with matching earrings and necklace to go with the dress.

The earrings dangled and Angelo's spirits bounced noticeably as he fixed himself before the mirror.

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