Hannamdong UN Village [EXO's Byun Baekhyun]

Chapter 18: Cold Winter

There couldn't be a worse time for Baekhyun to be sent all over the world, holding concerts day and night, leaving to another country right after.

The text messages became shorter, became later, and sooner than Haru liked, he didn't text back for days.

As always, Haru curled in her bed, the winter air adding chills to her already cold skin as she lay there. The window by her bed faced east; lightening up during morning and darkening after noon. She didn't know how, but she had passed an entire day just watching her wall get darker every hour.

Sad was not was she was feeling. Her emotions screamed undescribable as she sat, tears not running down, yet her feeling of anguish still spreading through her veins.

Crying would've been a better option - at least she was relieved of her tears, of her pain. But as she forced herself to stand amidst the darkened room, she turned her lights on to squint her eyes shut from the brightness and stared at the body length mirror in her room.

Her clothes were disheveled, creased all over, and just plain disturbing. The bags under her eyes told everyone who would see it the sleepness nights she spent thinking what went wrong, and whose fault was it that everything seemed so hollow.

Repeating herself, Haru reminded that she had signed up for this herself. It was her choice to accept Baekhyun's confession back then, and it was by her own means of willingness that she had fallen for the famous singer. When she moved in, she was the one who agreed to it: Baekhyun simply gave her a choice.

He had always given her a say.

Everything was to be expected, it wasn't like it was surprising.

But Haru still felt empty.

Since Haru had gathered Minyoung and Baekhyun in one place, Minyoung hadn't said a thing about it. In fact, she said nothing at all. They hadn't been in contact save for the times when Haru passed her in the office building several times. And even during those times, Minyoung seemed distant.

Had it truly angered Minyoung to that extent? She was too scared to ask.

It felt like Haru hadn't seen another person for days, and her voice felt sore. Her novel had been discontinued since Baekhyun left for tour, as she had nothing to write. The block she experienced wasn't normal, and she wondered if her writing still had value as of then.

After what felt like another hour, Haru walked downstairs. She ignored the clock warning her it was way past midnight and went straight to the kitchen. Hungry, Haru just realized she hadn't eaten an actual meal for days, now, and scanned her pantry and fridge for food, only to be disappointed to find nothing edible in the entire house.

She didn't bother finding alternatives. Haru went back upstairs and slept again as she hoped her dreams to be in better light than her current means. In a way, she thought her self to be currently pathetic, but she had nothing in her to fight and deny herself of her standings. Her strength to be productive and meaningful had been lost the past couple of weeks, and it was almost (if not already) depressing.

The ceiling wasn't much of an entertainment, but Haru still eyed it as she waited for sleep to take over her once more.

On another part of the world, Baekhyun was tired. Rehearsal was full of clumsy mistakes, so they had to repeat more than they should. EXO concerts had always been draining, both physically and mentally, and Baekhyun would usually immediately shut down on a hotel bed right after.

But even his sleep hadn't been well these days. He had left Haru on a cold and tense situation, and the fact that he was so fully occupied, he had no chance to text her as much.

The times he could actually text was before sleep (if he didn't collapse before he could type in his text) and in between transport.

As much as he loved his job, he couldn't wait to go home - to finally go back to his routines and daily life. He longed for the days he could relax and just be Byun Baekhyun, not EXO's lead vocal Baekhyun.

When he was finally in the rented van after a Singapore concert, Baekhyun knew it was due time to call his girlfriend, to make sure she was okay.

"Who's that?" Chanyeol, from his side, nudged him. Baekhyun mouthed Haru as he waited for the call to beep. Chen saw the interaction and said, "Say hi to her from me!"

The rest of the members caught on with this and respectively asked Baekhyun to send their regards, which Baekhyun nodded to. The first two calls went in voicemail, Baekhyun figured she must be sleeping, but he really missed her, and he needed to hear her voice at least. They hadn't actually talked and he feared the distance could swallow them whole.

So he dialled her a third time, and eventually, Haru picked up.

"Hello?"

Baekhyun swallowed. Was she sick? Why'd she sound so weak? Was it because she was probably woken up? But she sounded like she'd been crying. A million thoughts entered his head as he feared for the worst.

"Babe? You okay?"

It was then that Haru felt a river rolling down her cheeks. Haru knew Baekhyun's voice like she knew her own. She could wake up from it and still be in her dreamland. His voice had always been the soothing feel of calmness in her most stormiest days, and it lifted her spirits in ways only Baekhyun could do.

So Haru sobbed. She cried herself out from all the sadness, the happiness and relief bursting out of her.

"Haru?"

The worry in his voice was evident through the phone, and his members turned their heads at the notion of possible bad scenario that Haru could be going through. Baekhyun ignored them as he tried to ask Haru what was wrong.

What Baekhyun receives as a reply wasn't what he had expected. Haru finally realized what had been wrong with her, why she was such a slump the past few weeks, and why her tears just finally rolled out of her eyes when Baekhyun's voice had reached her ears.

"I," she stuttered, hard breathimg within her tears, "I miss you."

She had been lonely.

And she missed him too much.

Haru sobbed on the phone when the realization sank in and a wave of relief finally passed through her as Baekhyun calmed her down through the phone.

She just, missed him so much.

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