Hannamdong UN Village [EXO's Byun Baekhyun]

Chapter 26: A Suffocating Gap

She didn't mean to ignore him, nor did she want him to think she was avoiding him. Haru had been practically living beside Baekhyun in the hospital for a while now, waiting for further notice by the doctors for his dismissal - but she was rarely caught by Baekhyun's eyes. Always, the timing would've been off.

He could move better now, his other arm was slowly regaining its strength, though his leg not as much. But as he longed for her, hence why he sped that night, he hadn't seen her.

Haru didn't know if it was fate that led them to such a distance. The moment she stepped into Baekhyun's room, she would watch him sleep, and Chanyeol has been telling her that Baekhyun's doing great when she was out of his room, getting her thoughts in order.

First, there was that dark slump in her career she had yet to wake up from. During that slump she had nobody to rely to, just herself to hold on, despite her faltering grip. After that her closest friend avoided her and refused to talk to her. She had thought all this time it was because she had done something wrong, but it wasn't her, after all. Nonetheless, the heavy weight on that relationship never truly left even after Haru learned the truth. Then suddenly she was attacked by the information Minyoung led her to believe - that someone was after her relationship with Baekhyun and they were closing in.

She wasn't able to fathom all these things and yet another one struck her, this time really hard.

The sun was blinding, even if the weather had been cold lately, and Haru was too numb to pick herself up and close down the shutters to block it. The casts that stuck unto Baekhyun reminded her of her latest downfall, and she was instantly brought back to the frightening feeling as she waited for the taxi driver to bring her to where he was. He dozed off very peacefully, and she wished he knew how much she cared for him; yet she couldn't bring herself closer to him. She hadn't touched him if not necessary, hadn't talked in an in depth conversation since he arrived to Korea, and the distance between them was putting a strain on her.

She longed for him, but she was too scared to reach out to him. Haru wasn't stupid. She knew that he was heading towards her that night, that he wouldn't have sped up if it weren't for her. She had yet to find out the concrete reason why he was rushing so much, but she had an idea that it was herself.

"I'm sorry," the words sliped off in a whisper before she could comprehend them, and she wiped the tears in her eyes. It was weird. Haru was not a crybaby, she wasn't the type to give into her emotions so easily. But lately, her tears were like downpours in autumm,: unstoppable and frequent.

"Hey," a voice came from behind her, and in walked Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, a bag of tupperwared dishes on the latter's hand. "Thought you guys would be hungry," Kyungsoo smiled kindly. "I made you dinner."

Haru hoped she didn't look obvious, and smiled in return. "I am kinda hungry," she tried. "I'm sure he'll wake up the moment you open the tupperwares," she said again, pointing at Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo was relieved in her positivity, and proceeded to open the tupperwares. Chanyeol just smiled, something about his expression looked like he was hiding his thoughts, but Haru dismissed it - it wasn't her place to pry.

The three ate on the table just beside Baekhyun's hospital bed. There were only two seats initially, so Haru moved to sit on the small space on the corner of Baekhyun bed, letting the other two sit on the chairs. She didn't mind the proximity she had with Baekhyun, even after the emotional drift they were having. It was just if she would really dwell on it she would feel hurt, so she shrugged it off and left it be. It hadn't been long after they started to eat that Haru felt a twitch on her wrist. She turned to look at Baekhyun, blinking into the world from his previous slumber.

"Smells good," he said, sniffing the air like it was his everyday post-wake habit.

"Oh," Chanyeol was the one to reply first. Haru only turned her head and placed her utensils on the hospital table. "You're awake," she said, immediately standing up and picking up the remote to lift his bed up.

As natural as she could, Haru went back to her side on the bed, closer this time, so she could feed Baekhyun as they ate.

Even though her actions were as natural as ever, the instantaneous help Baekhyun received like it had always been her purpose to be there for him, Baekhyun could feel the loss of emotions she had at the moment. How the words "so near, yet so far" echoed through his head as he watched Haru move silently.

It wasn't until both his members left for another schedule when he made sure to ask before she would leave his sight once more, or before his meds would take consciousness away from him, "Are you okay?"

Haru turned to look at him, as if asking why wouldn't she not be. She managed a small turn of lips before replying, "You're the one on the hospital bed, Baek."

He wanted to smile at that, he truly did. But he couldn't - not with the space between them like this. It was suffocating, to say the least.

"Did I do something wrong?" he carefully asked, before he realized how obvious that was and hurriedly added, "I mean other than the fact that I sped a car and ran into an accident and worried you, I'm sorry."

He meant that, like any other time he would apologize, Baekhyun meant it and Haru knew that. She had forgiven him for that the first time he apologized though.

It was the gap between them that Baekhyun was referring to, and he pleaded silently for her to say something. His eyes were speaking to her in so many ways, and the down-lifted lips of his was a very persuasive weapon against Haru.

They both knew that he was trying to solve whatever it was that was coming in between them, especially after he had gotten back to Korea. Neither of them understood what it was exactly that created such a gap into their feelings, but they knew that both were desperate to force it away. Haru in her own silent way, Baekhyun in his own.

There were factors why Haru was so burdened - things like Minyoung's confession just a few days ago, Baekhyun lying injured in bed with a million things piled up for him when he would discharge, the press and the dangers of living with a public person like Baekhyun, and her darkest thoughts of living such a stagnant life, dependent on her boyfriend to fill her days. Haru was stilled for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. She had never been the better speaker of the two, but somehow Baekhyun always knew how to pull her into talking.

And somehow, spending so much time away pushed her back into a difficult corner. As if it was the most natural response, she had shut herself up, even to the ones she loved.

"I don't know, to be honest," she finally said, her voice cracking. Haru was holding it in, she didn't want to cry yet again. Looking weak had never been in her interest. "Maybe its not even you, its just me. And you shouldn't be getting additional stress from my problems as well. You're still healing, and must heal soon to continue your schedules."

Despite this, Baekhyun smiled. She was finally opening up to him, and for that he was glad. He gestured Haru to put her hands in his and then he pulled her closer - close enough for him to get a good look at her face, every line of her skin and her sparkling eyes. With his good arm, he took her shoulders and pulled her towards him, tightening the gap between them. His embrace was everything for Haru. It relieved her worries like it was never there.

"I hate being in the unknown, Haru-yah. Please just talk to me," Baekhyun said, pulling back. It was all the confirmation Haru needed to determine herself to sharing her worries away. Her concerns on his knowing, his burdens, and the stress he would've had to handle flew away the moment he looked at her with full sincerity.

So she talked, cried, and was comforted.

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