In Lakewood, a small town with a reputation of crime, gangs, outcasts and violence, Lana Takumi is an orphan and a gang member disguised in ripped jeans of her late mother and old flannels of her late father. She feels stuck in an endless cycle of b...
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L A N A
TWO HANDS PINNED MY wristsdownforcefully and a heavy figure crushed me, sharp and steely breaths itching against my ear. When he pushed inside of me, it wasn't like last time when I kicked, screamed, and cried out in pain. This time, the pain turned my body numb but not like it froze or anything. It was more like my body wasn't mine anymore. I had no control. It was just a sack filled with wet cement, glued beneath the crushing weight of a power that had complete control over me.
He was able to force out a whimper from the corner of my pressed shut lips when he squeezed my skull in his hand, aggressively.
"No," I heard the word leave my mouth over and over again with brief but slow pauses between every time it hurt, but my voice was faint and weak as if it wasn't mine anymore.
I was surrounded by pitch darkness like lying at the pit of a black hole. I couldn't see anything. Maybe my eyes were closed. I wasn't sure. He kept pushing inside of me again and again and the only thing replaying in my head was a desperate, silent cry.
Please don't let this be real.
I can't live with this being real. Not again.
I can't live with this.
I can't.
I can't...
My alarm buzzed aggressively in my ear, abruptly detaching me from that dark room and his enormous body crushing mine. Tears blurred my vision and beads of cold sweat broke out on my neck. The alarm still blaring and vibrating the mattress beneath me, I rolled over in my bed and it creaked underneath me. Lifting my head from my pillow, I blinked my blurry vision away and set my gaze on the glowing dawn slowly enveloping the sleepy town outside. The horizon was dipped with a fiery orange glow and the sky was painted cotton candy pink and vivid blue.
Even here in my own safe apartment, in my own bedroom, and in my own comfy bed, that night's presence lingered amongst me like a ghost that wasn't allowed to come in but did anyway. Underneath the noisy ringing of my alarm, I could still feel his disgusting breath itch my skin and his hands hard and heavy as brick crushing my bare wrists.
As if I was pushed back into my body from the corner of the room, I abruptly jumped up, turned off the alarm, and rubbed my thumbs over my bare, pale wrists. A wave of exhaustion flooded through me and I fell back down in my bed again and was on the verge of skipping the first period when the sweat left my body piping hot. Thus, I eventually but reluctantly dragged myself off my safe place and took a shower.
