Never Ending Pain | Human Sans x Frisk

Bricks and Hazmat Suits

When you're in the darkness with no sound at all for a while you have time to think. Not that I wanted to be there forever or anything like that, but I needed time to clear my head, and sensory deprivation- it kind of helped me think. I thought about what Sans had said and prepared for the horrors and hardships I would have to face. I knew I wasn't going to get out of this anytime soon, and I knew I couldn't just give up, or even if I could I for some reason wasn't willing to. Again it was like something was forcing me not to, but I can't blame anyone else. It's all me. I guess I just didn't quite understand Sans. I didn't get why he wouldn't just give up and let this all happen so that he can go back to normal or we could stop fighting at least; but no, he would fight for his brother and everyone else, even if it got him nowhere. That's something I admired about him even though he's killed me dozens of times. And even though he apparently has no feelings for me at all, I look up to him in a way. He's sort of like what I wish I could, be but I can't. Like I said, every time I ever picture myself at different place or being a different person, it's always the feeling of something looming over me just the same as it's always been, tempting me to do things that I don't necessarily want to do, but then making me want to do them. Everyone around me will always be dead. It's like I'm a toxin a poison to the things around me, and to be around me, you have to wear a big bulky hazmat suit. And even then it would still be a danger, like massive radioactivity. Something else I always thought of was, how are there two worlds? The underworld and the surface. Why don't we just merge together? What all happened? I mean, I know we had a war, but why would we block off worlds completely from each other? I just don't really get it. It's like being able to go on Mars, but then someone making a barrier around it, saying that you aren't allowed to go in, even though it would be perfectly fine. I kind of didn't want to go back to Sans. I mean, I know I've done this before, and I know I'll just get killed so the outcome was kind of just flat out death, but I didn't want to have to face him. Not in that way, but in a different way. A more psychological or emotional way. I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want to see him or the look in his eyes that he gave me, as if I was some sort of creature that should be in a muzzle, or a prisoner on death row, which of course I probably would be if I were on the surface, but now is not the time for laws. That also reminds me, Sans has got to be a good deal older than me, and yet I felt some sort of attraction to him. I guess he didn't feel it for me, and I don't know why I was surprised at all, but it's kind of weird. I've never felt that for someone that much older than me, but as some people say, age is just a number. Not the people that make the laws I guess. I've decided to name the something that I felt looming over me Brick because it was like having bricks pushing on my shoulders in the shape of some sort of hand, along with a face right beside mine, smiling and tempting me to do everything, then blaming me for doing it. Maybe schizophrenia? But I've never showed symptoms of that before, and plus, I don't see or hear things really. It's just a certain feeling. Maybe I should be happy that I'm feeling this. Maybe it makes me in a way superior to others, but I was taught that that is not a very good way to think. But then again, what do those bastards know?

Wassup? I posted another chapter yesterday, it comes before the last author's note (sorry bout that). I posted again today just because I felt I owed you guys since I didn't post for awhile. Hope you like them, I know I focus a lot on Frisk and her thoughts and not as much on the romance or foreplay. Sorry if you're not into that. I don't really have ideas for the more romance-like parts, so I just go with the flow, so this is all I can come up with. I'll start to focus more on the romance though, I promise.