Kai's History

16 Years Old (Part 3)

One day, after the school day was over, Mavi and I were leaving the school gates and we were walking back to her house. However, there's this road that's tricky to cross and one day, we were crossing it to get to her house. We looked both ways and waited until the cars stopped coming. There were no traffic lights to stop the cars from coming which was why it was tricky.

But we were talking while crossing it and we didn't see the speeding car coming. We were in the middle of the road and didn't have enough time to get out of the way...

Mavi got hit by the car. The worse thing was I was walking with her and I did shit to prevent it! I could have pulled her away or make it so the car hit me instead. Anything would have worked but I just stood by and watched!

I got hurt as well but I didn't break any bones like she had. The car didn't really hit me, I only got hurt because of the way I fell forwards. I had bruises on my side but it wasn't bad. I didn't tell the paramedics or the doctors this.

People around us stopped the other cars from coming and called 999. I got up and went over to Mavi and checked if she was alive. Thankfully, she was. I stayed by her side and held her hand and all I could think was the words "I'm sorry". Then the ambulance came and I went with her to the hospital.

I still remember the ride in the back of the ambulance. Everything was so packed and filled with equipment you wouldn't have thought would be in an ambulance. However, if it kept Mavi alive, then that's what mattered.

I waited at least 2 impatient long hours sitting in the hospital until the nurse said she was stable and updated me on her state. The wait almost killed me. Knowing that there was a possibility Mavi didn't make it. Perhaps, I'm exaggerating but this car accident could have ended much worse.

Her left side was the bit that was affected the most. Her left arm had been fractured and slightly dislocated, her leg had fractured too but the most painful and worrying of all, she had broken 2 ribs. From what I remember, it didn't penetrate the lungs meaning she would be easily treated. Although the doctors didn't tell me this then, they only told me when her parents were there.

They asked if she had familiars she could call. I told them Mavi's parents names and phone numbers and off they went. They said I could only go and see her in a few hours which is something I didn't know whether I should feel impatient or deathly worried about.

During the 2 hours wait, before the doctors told me she was okay, I thought about what I could remember about the car. Fragmented memories of a vague black car were slowly coming back to me as my adrenaline helped me to recall it all. Then I realised that it was Cody's car. They were both black and they were both of the same brand. Since it all happened so fast, I couldn't remember much else. However, if it is the same car that drove me to and from school since I was little, then I might have a problem with Cody. A big one at that. 

This was the turning point for me and Cody's trust. Knowing that your best friend, your brother, would hit and run somebody you love and trust was too much to just forgive. I didn't want to believe it at all but who else would it be? It could have been a random dude with the same car but I was so sure it was his car. I couldn't see the driver's face therefore no verification.

Once I knew she was stable, her mother (who arrived first) told me that they would call me once we could go and see her, I nodded and ran to Cody's house and knocked on the door until he opened it. To this day, I've never been so pissed off and blinded with rage in my life.

I managed to punch him once before he managed to doge and tell me it wasn't him. I didn't believe him and we kept fighting for a bit until he told me to check his car to which I ended up doing. It was true, there were no bloodstains or dents but I still felt like it was him. Even today I still sometimes think he did it even though, later on, he blamed it on someone else. He might have washed the car after the accident and no one would have known. I reckon I was too stressed and confused to be able to realise that though.

They never actually caught who did it either, I, later on, found out but Mavi and her parents never found out; it would break them and me if they did. Cody did give me a warning to "stop acting like a love-sick bitch and man-up" before he kicked me out of his house shortly after. He said that "After everything I did, after everything everyone does for you, you can never give them anything back." before slamming the door shut in my face.  

Later on in the night, I went back to the hospital and I eventually met Mavi's dad's dark side. He wasn't too pleased with me since he was blaming me for what happened with Mavi. He's not the nicest when it comes to stressful situations. Like... At all. Mavi's mum told me to ignore him but it made me feel even more guilty.

I went over to Mavi and I talked to her while she was asleep. I said I was sorry and that I should have done something. I told her that I should leave her, that I should never talk to her again because it seemed like all I did was bring her bad luck and misfortune. I looked at her while holding her hand and my 'lowest of the low' had reached its peak.

As soon as I was about to leave, she woke up with a massive migraine and I called her parents to say she was awake and I was about to leave the hospital and go back home. Before they came in, she told me to not leave her because she needed me right now. I agreed and stayed with her even though my gut said to leave since I felt like a threat to her.

I spent the night there and so did her parents. In a way, I was slightly jealous of her parents. Like I said, when I was a child and I was sick, my parents wouldn't even have noticed. If they did notice, they would tell me off for getting it in the first place. But her parents radiated love and support so, consequently, I felt it too.

During my stay at the quiet but whisper-loud hospital, all I could think was if I should leave or not. I would never be part of the family and Mavi deserved better. Needless to say, I didn't sleep properly that night. The next day, her parents made me go to school since my exams were coming up. I followed what they said and left the hospital.

Days went by and I kept feeling more and more guilty for what 'I've done'. But the day that it broke me into million pieces was the day she fell in love with another guy.

I was bringing her flowers since she had just gotten an operation done. It was her favourite flower: yellow chrysanthemum. As I was about to enter her room, I see her kiss the nurse who always took care of her.

The one who told me that she was going to be okay. The one who told us about the procedures. The one who she liked better than me because he saved her while I ruined her. Hence why she was enjoying it.

I left the flowers at the door and didn't look back because I knew she deserved better than me. I think her dad was nearby and saw me. He didn't do anything, he just looked like he was empathising with me but knew it was for the best. After all of this though, I hope she's doing better and has a better life. And, if she truly liked him, I hope she's with him still.

I can still remember how my heart ached for the longest time though. How I cried alone in my borrowed bedroom in Mavi's house as I gathered all of my things. That was the second time I ran away from a home. I felt like this time it was my fault though. Like I was the reason she didn't love me anymore. But, after all the things we went through, I think she needed someone who didn't bring her so much misery... Someone new that helped her like that nurse.

I texted her parents 'goodbye' and 'sorry' for bringing bad luck to the family. That they all deserve better. I reminded them that I was 16 years old, that they had done a lot for me and this was way more than enough, that I could take care of myself and that they didn't have to look for me. The truth was, I didn't know how to take care of myself or how to survive by myself.

As I packed my bag, I called Cody. Perhaps he could've given me refuge, help or anything, but that idea was short-lived because all I heard after was his voice mail. I felt like I had pushed everyone away and not even Cody would help me out this time.

Once again I was alone and homeless. I got my exam results back and I passed with C's and B's which was enough to get into college. So the treacherous college life was where I looked refuge from.

For a little while at least.