Kai's History

17 Years Old

My 17th year of existing wasn't as interesting as the others. It was still life-ruining but it was nothing to do with relationship problems.

After getting my results and getting into college, I got a job at a local grocery shop and saved up some money to rent a small apartment. I hadn't spoken to either Cody or Mavi. I didn't have the courage to either. I assumed Mavi went to a different college than I did which led me to never talk to her parents ever again. While Cody and I never saw each other again.

I decided to only study one course called: Understanding Children and Young People's Mental Health. I found that it was the only thing that spiked my interest at the time. I wasn't trying to get an amazing career, all I wanted was to get the government's education system out of the way since you have to be in a form of an educational system until you're 18. And I was told this just before I left high school.

But I ended up doing it until I was 17 though. I got expelled from college for a half-assed reason, one that I still hold a slight grudge for even now. The reason was because of a group of retards who were trading drugs in college. One day, they got into a fight with me just because I was getting all the attention from the girls. I'm not joking when I say that every day a different girl would talk to me to try and find out more information about what happened.

They all heard about the story on the news or whatever hence the girls felt sorry for me and the boys felt hatred and jealousy for me. Those dudes had made fun of me before, saying all kinds of fucked up shit that I won't go into. Therefore, when they picked a fight with me, I was defensive.

The aftermath of this was that their whole group went to prison for possession and use of drugs while I got stupidly expelled. I bet they just expelled me because of my lack of attention in class and being defensive when someone talks to me about Mavi or anything they heard on fucking TV.

But I just don't get why they had to do that to me. They obviously knew that I didn't hang out with the dudes (they even searched me for drugs) and that I normally didn't get into fights. Was it just for their 'flawless' reputation? At least I didn't go to prison like the other 5 dudes.

Everybody back then knew about the college being filled with druggies and stuff - which in hindsight might have been the reason why Mavi didn't go there - so for that reason once they got on the news that there were a group of kids carrying around drugs in college, the college did something about it.

From what I heard, they made a complaint to the police and then started to employ police officers to not only patrol the area but to also do drug testes on those who they thought looked to be 'under the influence'. But this was all after I left. I had nothing to do with it. In fact, my name didn't once show up on TV.

What really got me to live back on the streets was when I was going to work and I asked if I could do more hours per week. My boss asked why and I said I was expelled from college and needed the money. So, like an idiot he was, he thought it was me on the TV. That I got expelled because I was carrying drugs like most of the other kids that got expelled at the time.

The conclusion is that I got expelled and fired. My life couldn't get better! Especially since I couldn't find any other job around where I lived and everywhere I applied to work just rejected me.

Maybe if he hadn't fired me, I wouldn't be back on the streets nor would I be where I am now. Looking at my life in the long run, I think me having gone through all of this shit was worth it. But we're not in the deep shit yet.

Eventually, I understood that I could not pay rent, that I would have to leave. I packed some of my stuff from the apartment and called my landlord saying I was 'moving out'.

Given that I was forced to return back to the streets for yet a third time. This time though, I felt lifeless. I recall that particularly clearly. I had been so close to that dream of that calm, stable life. I had been so close that it hurt. I physically and emotionally couldn't attempt it again. I would have to move somewhere else to try again and I didn't want to move. I didn't want to move a muscle.

Yet, I managed to find a place I could sleep in without collapsing. What I found was a small, shady, but sparse alleyway. It was right next to a coffee shop called Star Lucks and this is where I slept for most of my future days.

Moments pass once I get there and my body can't hold itself up. It trembled as I desperately sat on the cold, concrete ground in the alleyway. Breaking down with no one knowing about my existence. With no one knowing that I so desperately needed someone.

It was quite lonely being there. In fact, it only got increasingly more lonely as time passed by. The only thing I could look at was the ends of the alleyway and the sky. It was nice to get a view of the sky but when the rain comes, I don't really have a cover.

I realised later that I only had one more pack of cigarettes left. So I was going to have to quit smoking or make this pack last. I almost went to beg for cigarettes on the streets but I really didn't want to beg. I promised myself I wouldn't when I was younger. But I would break it in an instant if it got too much.

This was overwhelming for me, I had no one to help me and no good shelter. I didn't understand why fate had done this to me. However, I was given a fresh start after a week or two passed. But this fresh start had definite consequences that I thought was impossible.