HATE ME ❙ Eren ✘ Reader

Hate me ║ Strangers

🛑 Warning 🛑
- Topic of suicide
- Depression

❖

After the party, I and Mikasa became a little closer. She would have small talks with me along the hallways sometimes and that was very nice. Although, we kept a certain distance because of that whole rivalry thing.

I was indeed sick and tired of that now. How long were they going to act this way? It was obvious Mikasa and Armin didn't actually hold any grudges towards us. I wanted everyone to get along...I wanted it to all be okay.

But that was not my position to speak.

Historia and I got to talk too. She felt hurt because she did suspect that I was keeping secrets from her and I was...she thought she was a reliable friend yet I turned away and kept this whole stupid lunchbox idea hidden. I understood why she felt hurt.

I told her that from now on, I'd share everything with her. She never judged me on anything, I didn't even know why I kept it hidden from her. So we made up and it made me so thrilled. It was awful without her.

But even after that...I couldn't explain this blooming feeling in my chest. Like a void was being cracked open and it wouldn't shut. Being surrounded by so many people...yet I started to feel a little lonely maybe? Or lost?

No fucking clue.

Eren didn't show up on Monday either. I remember walking into the classroom and feeling my heart stop. Why wasn't he back? What happened to him?

My frightful expression was caught by Mikasa and later on, she explained that Eren had gotten a bad cold. I didn't know how I felt about that. I was glad nothing worse had happened to him...but those vivid eyes of his stepfather. They didn't sit right with me.

But then I had to remember again. Why are you doing this? Why are you going so far for the one person that hates you and you hate them? I couldn't find any reasons.

Yes, it was decent humanity to help Eren when he was almost stumbling asleep from exhaustion. But that was over now, Mikasa was his best friend, so she took that responsibility. It wasn't mine to keep, I was nothing to him. Just a random girl who was friends with his biggest rival.

I had no right to be in Eren's business.

So I guess, back to being strangers like we had acted the two months, before that awful football game when we got trapped inside the school. Even that felt like months ago.

Nothing had really changed.

I didn't have to waste any energy on something that...that didn't exist. Fuck, I was going insane with all these mixed emotions.

So we came to Wednesday, the start of early November. The town had already started prepping for another winter season. We woke up with frost lingering on the ground in the early mornings. I loved the winter season, it had to be one of my favorites. But spring was the absolute best.

It was so fresh, the air felt lighter and I found myself being so relieved all that time it passed. But it was a good while until then.

I made sure to put on my scarf as I left home that day. Seeing dough leave my lips as I exhaled.

Inside the school, people had started wearing more sweaters to keep themselves warm. I had put on this big white sweater, it was one of my favorites. I happened to be drawn to white colors in the wintertime.

"Good morning Y/n!!" Sasha's excited shrill rang through the classroom as I had just stepped inside. She was this happy go lucky person every day, no matter what day it was.