Hate me ║ Just us

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I couldn't believe how weak I was...My old friends from England would have laughed at my face.
You move to a whole different country, have all the chances in the world to succeed, yet you throw it all away—for what?

I felt so helpless, so damn worthless. I know it was unhealthy to think so low of myself. That I should cheer up and try to get better with how my life was going to be.

But that's why I was weak. I couldn't forget about him.

Valentine's Day was finally over and I got home, did my homework and went to bed. Food was something far off my mind these days. It was bad...I should've done better than that.

Somedays I would at least eat dinner, but most days I couldn't keep it down so I avoided eating all together. My parents started noticing a certain weight drop after a month of this charade.

And it happened to be that same day...for fuck's sake. I couldn't get any peace.

"Y/n, please try to eat something. You've lost a lot of weight in just a month" My mother opened the door to my bedroom, refusing to leave after I complained I was fine.

"Mom, I don't want to eat now...I'm sleepy" I groaned, pulling the sheets over my head to drown out the light from the hall.

"You're tired because you barely eat these days and you who had a large appetite" My mother shook her head, "Come on, I've made you some chicken soup with homemade bread" She encouraged again.

It wasn't like I didn't want to eat, or I forced myself to avoid food. My stomach just wasn't cooperating with me. "Can you bring it here?" I muttered, finally gazing up my head.

"Okay, but you have to eat everything I bring you" She gave me a pointed look before disappearing into the hall.

I sighed and threw my head back down, I really needed to start taking care of myself.

You don't have anybody

Sometimes my stupid thoughts made me demotivated, but I really yearned to make it better. My eyes averted to my night stand where the pink ribbon lied. A weak smile etched onto my lips, even though I subconsciously hated myself for it.

"Eren would scold me if he knew I wasn't eating enough..." A simple tear fell down my eye as I reached for the ribbon, letting it's soft texture soothe my skin. "Just like I scolded him...I have to get better"

A sudden rush of encouragement passed my mind, telling me to eat and force it down. My mother soon arrived with a tray of food and more encouragement to eat properly.

"Wait, what's that?" She questioned once handing me the tray.

"Oh...just something I got from uh...a friend" I quickly twirled the ribbon around my finger and hid it underneath my leg. I knew my mother would take it away if she knew it came from Eren.

"Aw you got that for Valentine's Day? I'm so happy for you!" My mother sent me a glazing smile. At least she was happy about it.

"Uhm yeah...something like that" My cheeks swirled with heat, trying my best hide it from my mother. I knew she would ask questions and I despised it. I wasn't in the mood to talk with anybody.

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