An Uncertain Present

Chapter 18: Outcry of Sorrow

****Magnus's POV****

Three days had passed since Sara's return. Nothing was going well.

The winged nephilim had retreated back to their home in Italy, needing some time to come to terms with all they had seen. The Shadowhunters has dutifully returned to the Institute, keeping themselves occupied with their constant regiment of slaying demons and mission reports which just wouldn't quit. The demonic activity all around the world had spiked somewhat, much to the surprise of the Consul. Magnus had a sinking feeling as to why, but didn't voice it aloud. Right now no one was in any shape to be doing anything about it anyways. And I can hardly blame them.

Magnus had been married to Alec for a few years. Their time together was the best in all his centuries of life. Each moment was a treasured one when Alec was by his side. Time he swore he would never forget.

Back before the man he loved became immortal, Magnus had been terrified of the state he would be left in when his husband passed away. He remembers how he'd pushed Alec away with silly remarks about a lack of experience on Alec's part, how the man he loved was acting like a child. Those arguments about immortality were one of the worst things for him to ever go through. He had this talk with only a few of his treasured loved ones. None of them went well. In his despair, Magnus was left with the agony of Alec reacting the same way as all those did before him. Like the others, immortality would be too much for Alexander.

But.

Alec was different.

Magnus couldn't understand why his husband was so different than the rest. He couldn't understand what he had done to be so lucky to have found someone who loved every inch of him, even the darkest depths of his wounded soul. But Alec had.

Because Alec was different.

And because Alec was different, there were times Magnus didn't know what to do with him.

Times like now.

Alec had remained lost in thought for a majority of the past three days now. When he wasn't eating with Magnus or fast asleep, his husband would be staring off into space. He would be like a statue sitting on the couch, the stillness of him cold and harsh. Magnus had tried cuddling up to him to get him to loosen up but that was to no avail. The only way he could even tell Alec was feeling emotion at all was the glimmering light of his husband's wings. The red, blue and yellow streaks were interchangeable as they raced through those long primary feathers. Magnus hadn't the slightest clue what they meant, but he took them as a good sign all the same.

"Alexander, would you mind scooting over?"

It was evening again. Alec was sitting on the white couch on the left side like he usually did. His arms corded with muscle were crossed over his chest while hazel eyes stared off into space. Magnus had tried to follow Alexander's gaze before, but he'd never found what exactly he was staring at. And perhaps he never would.

"Sure." Alec scooted further against the armrest, his hip pressed up against the white material. Little Chairman continued snoozing away in the angel's lap, not bothering to wake up for the small disturbance.

"Thanks," Magnus said.

He sat down right next to his husband, despite having two-thirds of the couch at his disposal. Alec said nothing about being pressed into on his other side. Any discomfort Alexander had lately was not voiced, plain and simple. This only served to worry Magnus further.

"Alexander," He said after a moment.

Alec turned to face him, a blank look still on his face. There was so much Magnus wanted to talk to his husband about. Like what he was currently thinking about. Was Sara's abrupt return still hard to process. Did he have any plans on finding her? It had been left unspoken thus far if any plans were being made to go after the woman with blood red eyes. We need to go after her. The way she was talking. . .its clear she has something up her sleeves.

"Yes?" Those dark eyes focused on him briefly. There was an intensity in them which always left Magnus breathless. The courage building up inside him drained out like placid water.

"Can you pass the remote? It's on the table." He asked weakly.

Magnus cursed himself for saying the wrong words as Alec leaned forward —without upsetting Chairman— to scoop the remote up. The long rectangle was thrusted into his hands, rubbery buttons soft to the touch. A few red flashes occurred on the television as the guide was brought up. Magnus selected Project Runway, not bothering to start the episode from the beginning. He wasn't going to watch it anyways.

A few minutes passed in silence. Alec got up from the table at Chairman's prodding. He went to the restroom, returning a few moments later with the little kitten perched on his shoulders. Chairman whined in protest as Alec detached his clawed grip from the feathery flesh of his wings, passing him over to Magnus.

"I'm going to head off to bed."

"Really? I thought we were going to have some ice cream first," Magnus said.

Alec shrugged, head cast down. "I'm not really hungry. Sorry."

Magnus stood up with Chairman lazing in his arms, idly noting the clock's time of 9:43 pm. Alec normally went to bed much later than this. Alec normally did a lot of things differently, but lately everything was different.

I know it's not my fault, but I can't help feeling like everything is falling apart.

"Alexander. We need to talk."

"What about?"

"Why're you. . ." Magnus breathed out a sigh. Starting this way wouldn't help him. Not one bit. He tried again, his voice softer this time. "You know you can tell me anything right? You don't have to hide anything away."

Alec gave a minute nod. "I know."

The relief which flooded him at those words was immense. He gave Alexander a smile. "Good. So is there anything you want to tell me?"

"Not at the moment."

"Alexander." Magnus pressed.

Alec crossed his arms. "I'm serious Magnus. I haven't processed everything yet. One moment I only have three kids, the next I have four but ones dead and then guess what— she comes back and I don't. . ." Alec sighed. "I don't know how to feel about all this. I'm more lost then I've ever been before. Please just be patient with me."

"Of course Alexander. I will always be patient for you. But please, don't push me away." Magnus murmured.

Alec smiled slightly. It wasn't a full blown smile —the kind that made his eyes crinkle at the corners— but it was a smile all the same. Magnus would take what he could get. He would take anything at this point. They hadn't been active in well over a week now. In that department, he was still impatient. But never mind that now. I can focus on it later. When Alec's feeling better. When we're all feeling better.

Little did Magnus know, things wouldn't be getting better for some time.

Instead, they would be getting much worse.