Chapter 9

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The cave was bathed in a soft light that played off the beads of water on Eren's skin as he reclined against the rock wall looking at me. It wasn't safe to be out here. Every second spent outside the walls of the sanctuary left us unprotected and exposed to danger, yet all I wanted was to stay here with him for a while longer. I knew that once we went back, I would need to obtain a certain image that I'd upheld since I became captain of the elite squad that everyone depended on. If I slipped up, or showed that I was weak in a way that would interfere with my duties, they would lose their trust in me as a leader. And I wouldn't be able to earn it back once they figured out that I'd chosen Eren as my mate, but hadn't let him mark me.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes and laid back, interlocking my fingers behind my head. The cave floor was warm against my bare skin and all I could hear was the sound of the waterfall as it made its descent into the lake. Although there were many things I should've been worrying about, being here was too relaxing to focus on anything other than the present moment I was in.

I heard Eren move around some, and then I felt the heat emanating from his body as he laid down next to me. There were so many things I wanted to ask him while we were here in the privacy of the cave, away from the many prying eyes back at the sanctuary. I knew almost nothing about his life before he stumbled head first into mine and that pinched a nerve. There was a deep curiosity that made me want to know everything about him, even the little things that most people found insignificant. So, turning onto my side, I opened my eyes and regarded him. He smiled like he knew what I was going to ask him.

"What were you doing before you were brought to the sanctuary?" I asked, wondering how Erwin even managed to take him down with only a team of four. Or, better yet, what had he promised Eren for his cooperation?

"I was roaming around the outskirts of my home town for the past few months. I know that my parents were killed the day the purge began, but I don't know what happened to any of my friends. I was looking for them."

"Do you think they're still alive?"

Eren sat up and stared off into the distance. "I think that they are. Mikasa is a lot stronger than most. I know she would be able to protect herself out there. And Armin, he's smart and quick on his feet. So, yes, I think they're still around. I just need to find them."

"And how do you plan on doing that? What district did you live in?"

"Shiganshina."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Eren, you can't go back there. That's where the humans have their main base. It's like a concentration camp for our kind. You can't—"

"I have to," he said, standing up. "They could still be alive and trapped in there."

"Is that what Erwin promised you? To get you into Shiganshina?"

He turned toward me and nodded once. "I need to know if they're alive."

"Even if it means that you could die in the process?"

There was something ugly and sad in his eyes as he responded with, "Don't talk to me about dying, Levi. You think I haven't noticed that there is something off about your scent? Those suppressants that you're on are doing this to you, aren't they? They're ruining your body, because it's not natural to suppress your heats to this extent."

I looked at him for a beat before I dropped my eyes. It should've occurred to me by now that I smelled differently than I should. I knew from the first injection I received that the suppressants would cause irreversible damage to my body that would worsen with each heat I subdued. Hanji had told me that long before the serum for omegas was even finished, but back then I couldn't be bothered with any of that nonsense. It seemed idiotic to stay in perfect health when our kind was being pushed to extinction.

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