Resistance

Chapter 28

Eren

The realization of what I was about to do sank in as I stepped into the room opposite Levi's. There would be no coming back from this. Tomorrow I'd wake up as someone other than myself. Would this new Eren retain the memories I had now? And if he did, would it be enough to hold onto a sliver of sanity? It was a foolish thing to hope for. I'd seen alphas that had been injected. They were mindless, crazed beings who only craved destruction and death. I would be no different from them. In fact, being a royal alpha, I would be much worse.

I forced myself to take the steps that would close the distance between me and the medical bed across the room. The first thing I noticed were the leather restraints on either side of the mattress. They looked flimsy. They wouldn't be able to hold me for long.

"They don't look like much, but they'll get the job done," Hanji said when she walked into the room and noticed me inspecting them. She avoided making eye contact with me, keeping her gaze pinned on a spot in front of her.

"Can I be sedated...after?"

"Don't worry about any of that. I have it all under control." She gestured to the bed. "If you're ready, we can get started."

A moment of doubt kept me glued to the spot I was in. I understood better than anyone how dangerous I could be when I lost control, and the serum would unleash my true potential as a royal alpha. I would be just like a wild animal, running on instinct and killing anyone I considered a threat. In this case, the threats would be people who had done nothing to deserve my anger. And omegas—omegas would lure me in with their pheromones. Would I force myself on the ones that crossed my path? Would I kill them in the process?

Bile rose in my throat, the acidic taste of it filling the back of my mouth. I didn't want to mate with anyone other than Levi, to gain pleasure from some stranger. The thought alone sickened me.

"Having second thoughts?" Hanji asked as she set out the things she would need to put me under. She was careful to hide the hope in her voice, but I heard it all the same. She didn't want me to do this. None of them did.

"Tell me there's another way to save him."

"You know there's not."

That left me with two options. I could go through with this, like I'd planned, and become the ultimate weapon for the people who had started this war six years ago. Or I could let Levi slip away. I could let him rest and stop seeing the horrors of this war unfold in front of us.

"Tell me what Levi would want," I said.

"I think you know."

I turned around to look at her. "Tell me, anyway. I need to hear it."

Without hesitation, she said, "He would prefer to die than see you as their puppet. He wouldn't want this for you. He wouldn't want this for any of us."

"I know you're right. I know you are, believe me, but that doesn't make it any easier to let him go. To think that I won't see him after today... It kills me." I sat on the edge of the bed and dropped my head into my hands. "I wanted to give him the life he deserves. I tried so hard to give him that, but this world, the way it is now, we could never live in peace. Still, when I was with him, it felt like we could do the impossible. I really believed we could find happiness together." That we could live out the rest of our lives hiding away from this war. Now I knew that was nothing but a dream. One that would never become my reality.

"Eren, if you choose not to do this, his death won't be on you," said Hanji.

"That doesn't change anything. He'll still be dead."