Resistance

Chapter 29

I should have been afraid to be left alone with Eren for the night. He couldn't hold on to his former self for long. The way he'd lost himself while mating proved that. Still, when I woke to him nuzzling my neck hours later, nothing but relief washed through me. Relieved that he hadn't left while I'd been asleep. Relieved that, even though things had gone wrong, we were both alive, here, together. I would figure out a way to bring him back from this, no matter what it took. I wouldn't give up. Not when it meant losing him.

Careful, afraid to startle him, I lifted my hands and buried them in his hair. He groaned. "We should get cleaned up," I said. I spoke to him the way I would have if none of this had happened, like we were back in his apartment at the sanctuary. I didn't want to treat him any differently. He was still Eren. Still my alpha and mate.

He didn't respond, but he drew his head back to look at me. The black irises that met mine hit me anew. Fear crawled down my throat without my permission, choking me.

Not his eyes. Those aren't his eyes!

But they were now.

"No," he growled when I shrunk back. I jerked in his arms. "Don't...be scared. I no"—he paused, looking both confused and frustrated—"hurt you."

I didn't know much about the after effects of being injected with the alpha serum. All I knew was that it caused alphas to lose themselves to their instincts. The ones I'd come across never spoke either. They had no need to. They could convey their emotions through their scent, but Eren was trying to comfort me with words – even when that seemed impossible for him to do – because he knew that's what I needed. He knew that's what would get me to calm down.

My Eren was still in there.

Happy, and full of hope, I threw my arms around him. "I'm not scared of you. I just overreacted. I'm sorry."

These changes were a part of him now. Stuck in his royal form, the paleness of his skin was inevitable. The black eyes were entirely new, an alteration caused by the serum, but they were his. I would have to get accustomed to them. At least for the time being. I hoped one day his eye color would return to normal.

"I need a shower. There should be a bathroom somewhere in the lab," I said in hopes of bringing the conversation back to getting cleaned up. I shifted to lay on my back. Several bite marks on my inner thigh caught my attention. They were deep in color and the skin surrounding them was bruised. I tried to remember feeling pain while we'd mated, but whenever he had marked me, all I'd felt was satisfaction. I was sure Hanji would have a field day with this.

Eren suddenly pressed his hand over one of the bites, palm hot on my skin. I kept a close watch on his face as he examined his teeth marks. He looked pleased.

I toyed with the necklace I'd given him. Any excuse to touch him. "Do you like them?"

No response. It was almost like expressing himself through words was too hard for him now. I could see how it upset him, being unable to piece his thoughts into sentences.

"It's okay," I said. "We'll work on it. For now, let's find a shower."

To show him how serious I was about this shower business, I sat up and flung my legs over the side of the cot. That's as far as I got before he pulled me into his arms. As he stood up, wrapping the sheet we'd used around me, I couldn't stop myself from hoping that maybe he would overcome this in no time. He seemed in complete control of himself. Or at least that's what I thought until we stepped out into the hallway and a scent that didn't belong to us filled the air.