Bonds For Life

Kuhu

Since the beginning of this story, I wanted to write this chapter. I'm very excited to finally share it with you! 

Chachi's words were on loop in my head,  we married Kuhu off to a servant's son? Though everyone thought she was mean, she spoke the truth. While everyone was busy worrying about Abir and Mishti, she was worried about me! I had hardly known this truth for a few hours, I didn't expect Kunal to mention it in front of my family. Why couldn't he just say something else?

I sat in solitude in my room for what seemed the longest day of my life.  When Mishti entered the room, my eyes, which had been fixed in front of me on the wall, caught some light. It was still daytime.  

"Kuhu," she walked towards me, "are you alright?"

I shook my head, "How can I be Mishti? I married a servant's son." 

"Kuhu!" she was alarmed at my comment, "you are married to Kunal, the man you love." 

I love? My brain repeated it like a realization. 

"See Kuhu,"she sat next to me, "I know these twenty four hours have been the worst hours of our lives," Mishti sighed,"It might seem so like nothing is going to get better but things will get better. You love Kunal, that is all that matters. Parul masi is not a servant, she heads all the servants in the house."

"But she is a servant at the end of the day!" I noted, "And I married her son." 

Mishti shook her head placing her hand on my shoulder and pulling my chin towards her, "Put her occupation aside for a moment, everyone calls her Masi, right? She is masi in that house. She is Kunal's mother."  

"Stop Mishti. How can I put the occupation aside, Mishti?" I shook my head, the tears slowly escaping my eyes, "Just think about it, how," placing my hand on her chest, "how would you react if you got to know that your mother was a servant? I don't know what Kunal is going through. But I cannot accept this.  I rather be a daughter-in-law of a woman like Meenakshi Rajvansh than a servant's..."

"Kuhu, you are behaving absurd! What is wrong with you? I understand that it is a shock, for all of us. It is definitely a shock for Kunal, but you..."

"Forget what I said!" I looked at her holding both her hands, "answer my one question, do you love Abir?" the question that I knew the answer to but to clear my thoughts, this was a start. 

"Of course. I love him," she replied instantly.

"I don't love him." I said, it was perhaps the most honest thing I had said in a long time. 

"What?" Mishti was baffled, "what do you mean?"

"Hear me out!" I gulped, "I'm not saying this because I got to know about Parul Masi and his relationship but..." I tried to find the right words, "But it was definitely the cherry on top of the cake. It made me realize something," I took a deep breath, "When I first saw Kunal, I found him handsome, charismatic and," I smiled remembering the sports car, "I was infatuated by him, completely and blindly. When his rishta came for me, I felt it was like a dream come true. He was the man of my dreams, just so perfect! When I got to know that Maa wanted you to marry him, I was jealous and pissed, I felt horrible. You got him and I wanted him badly. When the alliance cancelled, I saw hope, I was happy. When I married him, it felt like a fairy tale, a happy ending like all those Disney princesses." Then flashbacks of the night of the wedding came back to me, "But he didn't want to marry me. I was devastated, but I still thought I had him, he was mine, things could get better. Then one day, he informed me he wants a divorce, I couldn't believe it. I disliked him. He wasn't worth the time and the effort, but I didn't know how to tell the family. I didn't want to hurt my family. And now, when I got to know about Parul Masi, I realized I was in love with the idea of Kunal, I had a crush on him. I never fell in love with him. I was mesmerized, infatuated, crazily in love with the idea of being in love." I said it all, the truth that I couldn't admit to anyone else but Mishti. She would hear me, she was neither my best friend nor my enemy. She was neither my family nor any stranger. She was always there, just someone who was always there, a relationship I couldn't name but I felt better when she was there. I felt better after telling her my thoughts.

"Kuhu?" her eyes wide, as if trying to read something off my face. 

"Just compare it Mishti. Abir Bro and you started out as acquaintances, then became friends, then best friends, then you both realized you love each other, you need each other," how beautiful it must have been to have to go through these phases, "Kunal and I were never friends. He was nice to me because he wanted to separate Abir Bro and you. We were together for the wrong reasons, when I thought we were getting closer, he was just using me. We never became friends and we definitely never fell in love. He needed me and I needed him because we are stuck in the situation together, that's it. We are married, at least we can be civil to each other and that is how we portrayed...to maintain peace." I rubbed my hands and placed them on my cheeks. "That is the truth Mishti. I don't know what Iove is, but I do know that if I loved him, I wouldn't be sitting over here upset over the truth, I would have been with him."

She looked me, for the first time, it felt like she had nothing to say, but then she sucked in air and looked at me in the eyes, she had tears in hers, "It is your life Kuhu. Each story is different, each love story is too." She licked her lips and spoke again, "I'm not so sure this is the right time but there never will be a right time for you to understand if you want to continue being with Kunal or not.  Your relationship with him should be based on what you both feel for each other. If you want a long term peace and happiness, think about yourself. Our family might be hurt in the beginning, but they will accept your decision, no matter what." She  stood up from the bed and headed to the door and then she looked back at me, "Parul Masi is a mother before her occupation. We never really got to spend time with our mothers, but we know their stories, we shouldn't judge Parul Masi before knowing hers."  She walked out of the room and closed it behind her while I sat in the darkness once again but now I knew what I had to do and how I truly felt.

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