Love Undone

4. Me & You

He'd found her several years ago. She only had 60K subs back then. She was chubby back then. Cute cheeks, warm eyes and bright smile. He'd lost himself in them. It was all so weird. Her and her charisma both. She was short, fat and everything that the world had deemed things that make a person unappealing and not sexy at all. But she was. She was stunning. And he'd been attracted to her ever since and that in a way he'd never been attracted to anyone before. He was attracted to her voice. The way her voice went from cute to deep husky in a second. The way her eyes shifted, warm and lively in one moment and cold, alluring in the next. It was too damn much. He was an idol. He'd been one all his life. Such things shouldn't have surprised him. The whole concept of duality and changing up entire persona should not surprise him. He had been a performer and done this very thing almost his whole damn life but looking at her, it did.

Thing is, he was trained to do so, to perform and move in such a way that captured the hearts of the audience and to entice and intrigue them in ways that left them breathless. She was not. She was not performing. She was not moving her body or anything in ways that were enticing. She wasn't even doing anything seducing. No lip bites. No tongue swiping over the lip. No. Nothing. But he was so attracted to her. He couldn't understand it. Just couldn't.

He deemed he was attracted to her voice. The way the nodes and chords changed with every moment. It was different. He'd wanted to hear her sing. She seemed to have great potential. When he thought of it, of her persona and voice changing so easily and so drastically, he thought that she could easily become an idol too. She'd need to lose weight and she could easily be one. For a good 5 seconds, he had been lost in that world, how he would make sure his company accepts her no matter what the exceptions. How he'd hear her voice, hear her sing right in front of his eyes. He'll be her mentor. He'll polish her skills. He'd seen so much potential. He wanted to watch and make her transform wonderfully into the artist he'd seen the potential in her to become. And then he snapped out of it. What was he thinking? This girl, that he didn't even know the real name of, was probably not even interested in that life. She made videos for fun. What had he been thinking? She was probably nothing that he'd been thinking she was.

Why was he so into it? He didn't know. But he knew he was lost, lost in the sight of plump lips and brown eyes that seemed to change colour to a lighter gray sometimes. He'd lost himself in her voice, of motivational words and attractive giggles, in how gorgeous she looked in contacts and how she was so sexy despite her weight and the world's weird standards. It was like, as if she was rebelling against the system, doing two things that the world deemed that they couldn't be done simultaneously. She did them. He was so intrigued. She did all of it, each and everything that people thought she couldn't do. He'd been watching her from then ever since, always keeping up with how her life was going and how she was changing and growing into the person that she was becoming.

Sometimes, he wondered if she knew that the Jeon Jungkook she read stories about for her audience knew that she existed. More so, really liked the fact that she existed, desperately, unknowingly waited for her to post a video of her reading a book that's his fanfiction. She wasn't an army. He'd found out soon enough. He was surprised. She seemed so nice and kind and knew so much about them that he thought she might be a fan. But it was okay, she was so kind, nice and supportive of the good things they had done and did. She just didn't 'stan' them as she'd said in one video, also stating the fact how she was afraid to always say that she wasn't an army as it got so much hatred. He'd frowned deeply when she'd said that. Why did army give her such a hard time? She was so nice. He liked her so much. Her content was so amazing. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that armys would give her so much hate just for not properly stanning their faves. He was sort of disappointed in his fandom and days later had also posted a Vlive on how armys should always be kind to ALL people, hoping they wouldn't give her any hatred from now on.