United's Beef

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"Who are you? And what the hell are y'all doing here?" One of the men said he had a blue flag with a red x and stars. The other man had a black and white flag with a black and gold eagle on it. The eagle had a sword in its left claw, some sort of cane in its right, and a crown above its head.

"I'm Russia and this is Germany, we are here because of an alliance with America," Russia said, he was confused since the boy with the eagle was glaring at him. "What are your names."

"I'm the Confederate States of America, and this is my best friend Prussia." At the mention of Prussia, Germany realised where he recognised the boy from. It was his dead brother. "And Germany before you ask, yes this is your brother. And yes we are kinda alive."

"How? I thought you were killed during the American civil war," Germany stuttered

"Kinda, I got shot by a musket by an idiot guard who thought I was a northern soldier. And I swear if you call me racist- HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE! EVERYONE WAS RACIST BACK THEN EVEN THE NORTHERN PEOPLE! THE CIVIL WAR STARTED OVER TAXES AND THE SOUTHERN STATES NOT GETTING THEIR DAMN RIGHTS!" Confederate yelled at the group Prussia pat his back and whispered something in his ear. "Sorry...I have a bad temper."

"We all have our moments. Now I have a question for-" Russia was interrupted by America kicking the door open.

"South what happened?" America said staring at his brother

"I don't know United, sorry if I woke you up," Confederate said Russia and Germany looked at each other in confusion. Why did he call America United?

"I heard you talking about the civil war, what happened?" America asked again more sternly.

"Well, he was introducing himself and started talking about he wasn't racist, and that everyone was racist back then and how the civil war started," Prussia answered cause his best friend wouldn't.

"Tough, ya good now Dixie?" America chuckled as his southern counterpart groaned at the nickname "Also just a warning to you guys don't call him Confederate, call him south or Union."

"Ame why did he call you United?" Germany asked

"Because I'm the United States of America? Also, I don't like being called America since it makes it a little vague as to who you're talking too." United said walking out the room, Germany simply nodded. Russia stood there awkwardly as Germany and his brother walked out of the room talking happily.

"Well I'm gonna go, you coming?" South said walking out of the room to catch up with his friend, Russia nodded and followed. He didn't know his way around so he just quietly followed from behind. The two America's walked into an office, Prussia stopped his brother from following inside so Russia decided not to either. There was muttering from the inside but then it went silent.

Russia and Germany sat there in silence watch Prussia. The two had been in there for around 40 minutes and there had been no sound. Prussia shoved open the door to see no one inside. He checked all the doors, windows and closets. But the America's were no where to be found.

"Guys...I think that they aren't here!" Prussia said noticing a slip of paper on a counter. It's was England's handwriting.

I have absolutely no idea how Prussia and Confederate are alive, but I do not care. You all waged war on me, now they'll pay the price. As soon as I find out what said "price" is.
Hope you lose,
England

"Geez what an asshole." Germany said after a couple minutes of icy silence. The others in the room couldn't tell wether or not that was a good thing or the other way around. They all stood there waiting for something, anything to happen. Prussia sighed and stepped towards the open window and looked out leaving the other two standing in confusion.

"WHISKEY IS THE WORST ALCOHOL EVER TO BE CREATED!!" Prussia screamed out the window, there was screaming heard in the distance and two men came bolting towards another man. Prussia stepped back and watched the two men fall through the window and start making an argument. Russia looked out the window to see England lying on the floor defeated.

"EXCUSE YOU, YOU PIG! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW WHISKEY IS THE BEST ALCOHOL TO EVER EXIST!" Both the America's started yelling at the German standing in front of them.

"Guys, look at England. He looks like he died!" Russia said between laughs. The others rushed over to the window and started laughing as well. Germany watched as a small rat like creature waddled over to England, it must've seen him move or heard something cause it looked like it had a heart attack and died. England finally got up and poked the thing with his finger. The small rat jumped up and bit his finger, causing Russia, Germany and England to jump back in shock. The three others in the room started laughing even harder at the miserable England freaking out about the rat on his hand.

"WHAT IS THAT!?" Germany yelled out scared for his life. "IS IT A RAT!?"

"Nein brother, it's a possum. It's an animal that pretends to be dead when it gets scared, then attacks whatever scared it when it goes over to inspect it," Prussia said between laughs "It's an American animal, and it's hilarious to watch foreigners get scared by it!"

Russia started laughing when he realized how stupid he was for being scared of something so small, and quite a distance away too. North said something and walked downstairs being trailed by the other countries, leaving Russia to watch England prance around like a scared baby deer about the possum. He watched a car pull up in the driveway across the street. More and more cars drove through the street. Eventually a lady walked up to Ame-United's door. Russia walked downstairs as he heard the entryway door open. He watched the lady set down her bag next to the door and walk into the kitchen as if she owned the place.

"MOM STOP!! THIS IS NOT THE TIME!" South's voice yelled from the kitchen, South ran out of the kitchen being pursued by a woman yelling at her son in a foreign language Russia didn't understand. United walked into the entryway and sighed, he looked unhappy and disgruntled by the woman's presence. Something about America was...off putting to say the least. His aura didn't match with his face, he had the aura of a depressed war-god, but had the face of a punny uncle. Japan had said he had an aura that was...weird.

"Are you alright Uni? You seem a little off," Russia asked, United turned around and glared at him.

"Just call me Ame if you're going to shorten my name, and I'm fine. Just I'm not a fan of her being here." United said glaring at the woman who was showering South with love and affection, not giving two shits about her other child.

"Who is she?"

"My mother...sadly"

"Why aren't you pleased with her being here? I would be overjoyed if my mother visited me!"

"Just because of how you responded to that, proved that you indeed will not understand."

"At least try."

"Well um...she abused me when I was a child...she let her mother (who only did things if it pleased my mother) adopt this woman who was terrible to me. They hid the abuse from my father who mainly took care of my younger brother. I basically took care of myself. With no one to teach me how anything works."

"Alright your right I don't understand..." Russia paused staring at the dark glasses. "The fact that anyone would do that to a child!"

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