Stay With Me

23

Euronymous growled, half tempted to tear up the papers in front of him and forget about this whole tour. Out of the dozens of places he called, none of which were going to be cheap, only six locations agreed to host their show. To pull any of this cursed plan off he would need to get at least another four locations to agree to this if it was going to even be worth the time and money. Granted he wanted to keep his promise to Vanessa and help her, but there had to be some benefit for the band as well.

"Hey."

Speak of the devil...

His gaze remained focused on his papers. "Where's Dead?"

"Taking a shower," she answered as she walked over to where he sat. "How's everything going?"

Euronymous tossed down the paper in his hand, looking over at her. "I've got to get at least another six, hell maybe even five, more people to agree to host us otherwise it isn't going to be worth the trip."

"I need this to work, Euronymous," she pleaded.

"It's not like I'm not trying here, but you gotta see this from my end. If I can't get us gigs then this isn't gonna work. I get what you're wanting to do and I wanna help but this was supposed to be good for both of us. Remember?"

Vanessa scowled. "There's got to be something more we can do to get people to say yes."

"Well if you've got any suggestions I'm waiting to hear them."

Vanessa sat on the floor, trying to think of any possible way to find more locations. "I wish I could think of something. I know we can't say we can play for free because that won't help anything."

"Wouldn't say that even if it mattered. I don't play for free."

"I'm at a loss, Øystein. I just know I need this to work."

~

Dead stood on the top of the staircase, straining to hear more of the conversation between the two of them. He wondered what was so important that she needed Euronymous to help her before she even asked him for help. Weren't they supposed to figure out problems together?

"I'm at a loss, Øystein," he heard. "I just know I need this to work. He's already asking why I keep putting off getting married and I just feel worse lying to him like this."

No... She wouldn't lie to me...She promised she wouldn't hurt me...

He could hear Euronymous groan. "Don't worry about Dead; he'll get over it soon enough. I'll get it all figured out and once I do the wedding can go on as planned as long as we can keep him in the dark long enough to even pull it off."

Wedding? What wedding? Is this what she's been saving up for? She's getting married to Euronymous!

Dead struggled to keep himself upright, feeling as though he was about to throw up at the thought of her marrying Euronymous.

She was supposed to be my bride...

She lied to you. Why would she want to marry you? It should have been obvious she was hiding something from you! Think about it! She's been putting money away that you're not supposed to know about and was asking her friend about some kind of special order. How dumb are you to not notice the signs?

She was supposed to marry me... I gave her my heart...

The sudden pain in his chest intensified as he envisioned her marrying another man. He had tried his hardest to be what she believed him to be, tried every day not to hurt himself or anyone else for that matter. He had opened himself up to her in every possible way, hell, he had given his soul to her the first time they had made love together.

Did it mean nothing to her?

Stepping into the bedroom, not wanting to hear any more, he tried to figure out where he had gone so wrong. Where had he pushed her into his arms? Sure there were times he was hard to deal with and his emotions had gotten out of control, but was he that bad of a person that she wanted to leave him for someone like Euronymous? Walking to his desk, he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and began to write his note. If she wanted to be with Euronymous then who was he to keep her from being happy? Who was he to stand in their way?

Who am I to hope someone so perfect could ever truly love me?

His hand shook as he scribbled down as much as his heart could take, the tears he so desperately fought back now falling freely onto the paper below him. None of it made sense, he only hoped that maybe she would be able to make out some of his jumbled, messy sentences. Some of the words he couldn't even begin to make out. Part of him could have cared less if she could understand a damn word he wrote, he wanted her to feel the pain he felt...if she even felt anything for him anymore. Trembling as he set down the pen, Dead took a final glance at his note. The anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach intensified, making him feel as though he would be sick at any moment.

You can be sick later. He scolded. We need to leave before she has a chance to try and change your mind.

Opening the window beside the desk Dead took a last look at the room, reliving each memory he had of the woman he thought was his forever. Turning out onto the roof of the house Dead quietly shut the window before climbing down the side of the house. So far he hadn't made any sound that would give him away, or at least he hoped he didn't. His hands wrapped tightly around his waist and squeezed, much like their insides seemed to be doing to themselves. Wave after wave of cramps was all he felt and all he could think of. For a moment he thought about just giving in to the pain, letting it consume him completely as there seemed to be no way out. To crawl back into that damned house and beg for her to stay with him. He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. Perhaps if he could shift their focus away from the pain it'd be easier to manage.

Fighting through the pain was becoming increasingly difficult, but above all else it became increasingly annoying to have to deal with. But sick of having to deal with all this he decided to simply refuse to acknowledge the pain and get on with this as best he could. Once he was at the train station he would use the little bit of money he had he would call his family and ask them if he could come home. There was little doubt in his mind that his family would say no to his coming home, but he had hoped to have Vanessa with him when he did go back. To show them all the woman he had made his bride. He only hoped that Euronymous would treat her like the goddess she was...

~

"Forget it," she cried. "This plan will work better if he knows why I'm putting this off so often. I'm just gonna tell him and get it over with so he doesn't worry."

Euronymous nodded. "Probably for the best. I know you wanted it to be a surprise but Dead can be insanely paranoid about almost everything. I'll keep trying to get places booked so we can still get it together, even if it's just a couple more we should at least break even."

"Whatever you can do would be great. I'm gonna go tell Pelle."

Rushing to the stairs Vanessa made her way up to the bedroom, confused as to why Dead was nowhere to be found. Her eyes scanned the room, trying to find any sign of him. Walking over to the window, she glanced outside to see if she could see any sign of the blond. Looking down, her eyes landed on a scribbled out note.

I'm sorry for whatever it was I've done wrong. All I wanted was to make you happy, to make you my wife and believe that maybe my life could be something more...To believe I had a chance at being happy with someone who really loved me. I thought you were that person, but given what I heard between you and Euronymous about getting married, I can see that you're no longer in love with me and want to marry him. If that's really what you want I will not stand in your way. I'm going home to think over my existence, Mayhem will find another vocalist in time. I will always love you...

Dead

Her heart dropped, her body shaking as she ran down the stairs with the note in hand.

"Pelle's gone!" she cried.

Euronymous looked up from his papers. "Did he go on another walk?"

"He thinks I want to marry you!"

Handing the note to the guitarist, Euronymous quickly scanned it, his eyes widening.

"Shit," he muttered. "Call Hellhammer and Necro. I guess we're going to Sweden."