When In Doubt - Freshman Year

Chapter 19

Matt

It was the first day of classes for the new semester, and Matt had already screwed it up. Matt and Jared had talked about how they both took Speech 101 as part of their English credits; on their schedules they'd both had the same teacher at the same time, so it'd looked like they'd be taking the course together, much to Matt's relief. Like so many others, he absolutely hated public speaking, and having someone familiar in the crowd always helped make it a little easier.

The day had started off normal: Jared knocked on Matt's door to walk up to Harvey Hall together. They'd found their classroom with no issues, suffered through whatever social ice breaker the teacher had come up with, and read through the syllabus together.

Matt checked his phone and saw the following messages from Madison:

Um Matt...Where are you?

The Teacher called your name several times already

You might want to sprint here now!

Matt was confused as he'd checked his schedule, not understanding what Madison said, but his face paled as he'd discovered his mistake. He'd had the same speech class, but on a different day.

Son of a bitch...

Heart pounding and struggling to breathe, Matt tried to remain quiet as he'd begun to hyperventilate. The teacher still spoke to the class about classroom rules, how was he going to get out of there without having everyone stare at him? He'd imagined the room filled with whispers and teasing laughter when they realized he'd screwed up, and didn't want to face it.

Matt told himself to simply go up to the instructor, who was a kind looking older woman who had already shown she'd had a dry sense of humor, and quietly explain to her so he could still make it to his actual class, which was 3D-Design. While he told himself to just stand up already and walk up to her, but he was frozen in his spot.

Jared threw him a questioning look in the next seat, and Matt silently cursed himself for being such a coward. He was disappointed and frustrated with himself as he'd dejectedly got up from his desk when the class ended, and followed Jared into the hallway.

"Bro, why didn't you just leave? It wouldn't have been a big deal," Jared said as they'd walked through the big wooden doors outside back into the cold.

Matt mumbled some half-assed excuse under his breath. Matt wondered how someone could explain to Jared, golden-boy with excess confidence, how drawing attention to themselves in a negative way, and looking like an idiot was so absolutely terrifying? Opening up to someone about it and having them dismiss it, and tossing it back in his face like it'd meant nothing because they couldn't see it from his perspective also terrified him.

Matt remained silent as they'd trekked through the snow.

Luke

As he'd sat at in a armoire chair in the MSC, Luke couldn't believe it as he'd read an email from the administration of how he'd made the Dean's list last semester. He'd had to read it several times to prove it was real, like he'd expected it to disappear from his HP-laptop screen. It remained where it was though, and felt the best he'd had in several days. He'd immediately forwarded the email to his parents.

What a big change he'd made since those years back home; the people he'd used to call "friends," what they'd put him and his family through...Luke always hated when his mind wandered back to those memories.