Divinity

Chapter 22

Jasmine's expression gave nothing away. She didn't look angry, or upset. In fact, she looked... neutral. Completely neutral. That's what scared me the most, having no idea what she was thinking.

The others had all left the building, leaving us with privacy. Noah had been reluctant to leave, but he knew I could take care of myself now. I wanted to believe that we could trust Jasmine not to hurt me, but I couldn't be sure. 

She remained silent, stood by the window, staring out blankly at nothing in particular. I wondered if perhaps she had figured it out, that I had been lying... that I was an angel again. Was she here to yell at me for it? To blame me for Travis' death?

Was I to blame? Before, I was certain that I was. Certain that if I had resisted the pull of the sword, he would still be with us. But now... now I had spoken to Travis. If he didn't believe I was at fault, then surely I wasn't? He claimed that me finding the sword was inevitable.

But then, who was at fault? Travis, for touching the blade in the first place? Andrew, for telling the others that I had the sword? You could even argue it was Acacius' fault, for having made me in the first place.

Perhaps we all shared the blame for what happened... maybe it wasn't something we should dwell on. It had happened, none of us could change it now. Except... except for me. Maybe I could help the inhabitants of the sword... maybe I could free them. If only I could figure out how...

"Do you know what it's like to lose someone, Emilia?" Jasmine surprised me by asking. I had no idea where she was going with this... was she leading up to accusing me?

"Not in the way that you have." I shook my head. Travis' death was the first time I had truly experienced grief, I had barely even begun to work through it when I found out he was trapped in the sword. He wasn't truly gone anymore, and that changed things. It gave me hope that I might be able to bring him back. 

"I've lost friends before." She told me. "Other angels, who were struck down by the sword. I cared for them all... but not as deeply as I did for him."

"I'm so sorry, Jasmine. I wish it had never happened." She couldn't know how deeply I meant it... Travis might not be truly dead, but the fact he was gone was still down to me. Maybe it wasn't my fault alone, but certainly, I had played a role in it.

"I'm not used to feeling this way." She sighed. "It feels... foreign. I feel lost, without him. I had been so sure of our future together."

"You're going to make a new future now, with friends by your side." I assured her. "Plans change. It's not what you're used to but... that's what being human is all about. The uncertainty."

"I know my future now." She turned to face me abruptly. "I am certain of one thing, Emilia. And that is my love for God."

"You can love more than one thing." I told her, I knew the truth in that so well myself. 

"You can... but perhaps you shouldn't." She sighed again, and I knew she was about to say something I wasn't going to like. "You need to let him go, Emilia. For the good of you both, relationships and angels don't mix."

"I care for him so much, Jasmine. More than I've ever cared about anything." I shook my head, almost in disbelief. "I don't think it's an option for us to stop now. I can't imagine my life without him."

"There is always a choice!" She exclaimed. "I know how it feels, to think that you need someone. That you can't possibly be without them. It only makes it that much worse when they leave you."

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I reminded her gently.

"That's nothing but a fairytale." She told me, shaking her head. "It is foolish of you both to do this. I beg you to reconsider. Please."

I shook my head. "I"m sorry Jasmine. But I won't."

"I've lost so much." She said quietly. "I don't want to lose you as well. It would... mean a lot to me, if we could still be friends."

"I want to be your friend Jasmine... but I can't do it if you won't be supportive of Noah and I."

"I just don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did."

"If we didn't make mistakes, we would have nothing to learn from." I told her. Maybe she was right, and it was all a terrible idea. But what if it wasn't?

"I'm not going to turn you in, Emilia." She told me slowly. "But I am devoted to God now. I won't act against him either, I cannot help you anymore."

She stood up to leave, I mimicked her movement quickly. "I hope you return to us Jasmine. Really, I do."

She didn't look back as she left. I worried that her mindset truly had changed for good.

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Sorry for the short chapter! I've been working on my other book Paragon mostly, if anyone feels like checking it out!

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