Me!

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23 March, 2020, Evening at 3 O'clock

"I think... I don't know how to tell you this... I'm in lo.... I like you."

"Do you even know what you are saying? Is this why I am giving you a salary? To behave like this? Have you forgotten the office rules? ........." bla bla bla.

Oh no! Not again. I faced this situation quite a lot of times in my life. Not the scolding part but being rejected. I am not really that much bad of a person but whenever I liked someone...

"Are you listening? If you ever crossed my path again, you will surely get fired from this office with a black mark. Now get out."

Arghhhhh.... I felt like crying. I'm so disappointed with myself to be in a place, where I'm unsure of what I want and how to get it. I'm not afraid of being fired, because I have enough money to live my entire life partying.

That's not the problem. But going away from him, that's like a sharp piercing in the soft flesh of my heart. Pain is oozing out of my eyes as tears. Draining every bit of my hope of getting his love. He hates my guts now. But this is not new to me, being left out. I'm so fed up with this unrequited love.

I left for my apartment after office hours speedily. Running away. After taking a long hot shower, I was standing in the balcony with my wet hair left open, one hand holding Coffee and another having my mobile.

I wanted to beg him to accept my love. But alas! My dejected heart is leaning towards another idea of jumping from this 8 storey building. If I stay here for more than a second now, I might feel like that's a good idea. I kept my mobile there in the hanging chair and came inside. I'm gloomy and hurt but not an idiot. I leaped onto my bed. Several thoughts are consuming my mind, from where it all started. It's like a tale I want to tell you now.

Oh! I forgot to tell you, I'm Mohana Shivaani and this is my story. A cursed princess love story.

My parents named me Mohana only. But why I added Shivani, you will get to know after sometime.

I was born on June 5th, in 1998, to the world's best parents. In my childhood we used to live in Vijayawada until I was eight years old. I was a hell of a child, an obnoxious girl to get along. I was pampered tremendously, so much so that I often wondered whether there's anything I will want that I can't get. I don't think so. Because my parents made sure about that, I'm a princess who just has to lift a finger to obtain whatever I fancied. Those were the days I could count on, because they are the only happy ones I have, before my life becomes a mess.

2006, Summer starting, April.

When we were leaving for Araku, my grandma's home, we met with an accident which took my parents' lives, but left me, to live with the nightmares that followed. I was given to my grandparents, because my relatives didn't think it was a good idea to have a brat in their home. Furthermore, my grandparents took an oath on the day I arrived into their home to make me a good disciplined girl.

At the time, I hadn't come to terms with my parents' demise. But the hardships I faced, made my days woeful. I got good grades, that was never a problem, but I didn't have best friends or even friends to share my grief with. At home, my grandparents didn't discuss it, because they felt it was mean to talk about my parents in front of me. If only they knew how much I was suffering inside. How I woke up screaming from my nightmares, tears streaming down my face, afraid to go back to sleep. I slowly changed from a chatterbox to an introvert.

2008, May

When I was ten years old...

During summer holidays our neighbors have guests. The thing is I never bothered about them till now, until a boy waved his hand to me. I'm left flabbergasted with his gesture.

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