The one

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His square cut face, bright eyes, thin lips, dark hair, neatly trimmed beard, and tall and well-built figure did more than enough justice to my eyes. I just stared at him like a creep, the whole time.

When his turn came to give a speech on the stage, he went to the podium, and answered the queries in my mind.

"Hello and good evening everybody. I'm Dheeraj Ram from Royal Regime industries, Hyderabad................ "

I was lost in his speech. I felt so connected with him. I tried to control my feelings, suppress them, but my mind had surrendered to my heart. He was very gentle around the people. He respected elders and women. Didn't pay any attention to the offers of young ladies. Such a gentleman! Too good to be true. While I was overflowing with this much emotion, he didn't even know I existed. The conference lasted for three days. I got introduced to the pillars of the fashion industry in the country. I learned a lot of new things. I wanted to be like them one day.

A week after that conference, I was still thinking about Dheeraj. He had captured my mind without any efforts. While I was engrossed in his thoughts, Rocky poked my hand and disturbed me. I looked at him questioningly.

"Something is cooking in your mind. What is it? "

"I'm thinking of when to start digging my own grave."

"Oh Oh! Hold on to your thoughts! Now tell me what it is really. "

"My mind is messed up Rocky. I'm feeling awful about my own self. I think I like a guy but I don't know anymore. Because love and me are never good at being in one sentence."

"Go for its girl, I have never seen you this much desperate about a person. And you too have to settle down. It's high time. So, what if you have to take some risks to get the love of your life, go for it!"

That's the motivation I needed. But I have signed a bond with my company to work for at least one year before terminating the contract. I have been working for eight months now. Four more months is not a big time, so I decided to try once again, see if fate changes, and if for once my love is returned back...

I used the remaining time to find a 1bhk apartment in Hyderabad, bought a car, prepared a resume and sent it to his company. Actually, the company I am working for, Parna fashions, is one of the best, and far bigger than Royal Regime. The salary package and the cadre I'm going to get are lower than here. But I still wanted to give myself another chance at love. If nothing works out, I will open my own design line. I kept my options open this time.

Just after two days, I completed the contract and submitted my resignation letter. I mentioned that I am getting married and planned to shift. They asked to work in the Hyderabad branch. But I just lied that I needed a break. I attended the interview and cracked it on the first go. The one-year experience in Parna fashions alone can bag good points to my resume. They too agreed, I was overqualified for the job. But the post I applied for was occupied and I was going to be the assistant. Like one of the ten people I used to have, to carry and assemble the designs. Anyway, I accepted it. All the efforts might be worth one day.

But the work here is not at all appreciated. No cooperating, no coordinating. Everybody's trying to show off in front of Dheeraj. But no real work. I don't know how it is still running with this kind of people around. Such a loss for him.

From the day I joined, I tried every single opportunity to gain his attention with my work but all in vain, thanks to my senior designer. She takes all the credit and applause for my work and I just sit in the audience clapping for her. I confronted her once about this issue, she said she will get me fired if I behaved rudely with her again. But she's messing with the wrong bitch. She tried to do it again, but I was one step ahead of her this time. She got all her mistakes in front of everyone, got a good number of pointing fingers, because of the water mark of my name on the final designs. Yep. It was a trap. I made sure that this time the evil bitch knew not to mess with me.

Bearing with office nuisance is one thing, but not getting any chance with Dheeraj is saddening. I admired him a lot.

Today afternoon, that evil bitch noticed that I used his picture as my mobile's wallpaper. I dared to keep it only because my lock screen is different and I rarely use mobile. She went straight to his cabin and reported it as an unethical and unprofessional practice. So, I got a big lecture from him.

This time I truly lost hope in love. Enough of these silly things. I was done with keeping my self-respect aside. Love is not for me. I just get hurt every time I try to believe in love. This has happened so many times, my heart must be broken beyond repair by now. I give up. I have no more love left to give. Maybe I'm just too broken to be loved. I try consoling my heart, but the pain is too strong this time. I'll just go numb in some time hopefully, I wait for the crushing feeling to go away. I try thinking about my future plans, in hopes that it would help distract me.

The first thing I'll do tomorrow is resign this post, then I'll go to my hometown Araku, spend some time there and open an online designer line. I'm ready to be single forever. This love and boys got me nowhere. And the pain. Let's not talk about that. It's that much profoundly felt. 

 

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