-a few months later-
Cal hadn't talked to Mitchy in weeks and he never really talked to hazel unless she was over visiting the kids like she did a few times a week. Today Calum was making a few things for lunch when hazel came over.
"Hey cal." She said softly while entering the kitchen.
"Hi." He didn't look up from the salad he was fixing.
"Where's the kids?"
"Upstairs."
Hazel walked upstairs to hang out with the kids until Calum called all of them down for lunch. They ate and quickly after Hazel took off and cal cleaned up.
As calum was cleaning, his oldest walked over and began helping him.
"Thanks son."
"No problem." Issac started wiping countertops. "Actually there's something I wanna talk to you about." Cal stopped what he was doing and turned to listen to his son. Issac looked at cal. "I'm moving in with ruby."
"What?"
"With her and her parents. I wanna be there for the baby as much as I can."
"You're not old enough to move out."
Issac sighed. "I know, I just wanna help her."
"You can help her in other ways, but you're not moving out."
"You tell me to be mature but then you won't let me grow up?!"
"I want you to be mature enough to be 16!"
"Please dad..." he sighed again. "I want to be there full time."
"I'm sorry."
Issac thanked Calum for lunch and went to his room leaving cal by himself again...and in a moment of weakness and utter loneliness, he picked up his phone and called hazel. And then he grabbed himself a beer from the fridge because he was sure as shit gonna need it.
"Hey!" She answered. "Everything okay?"
Calum smiles at her voice. "Yeah...everything's okay."
"Need something?"
"Are you at your apartment?"
"Heading back now. Why?"
"Can I...can I come over?" He downed the rest of his beer
"Yes. Are you bringing the kids?"
"No."
"Okay. See you soon." She hung up and cal walked upstairs to get dressed.
———
"You alright?" Hazel asked cal as he stepped inside her apartment.
"Yeah. Just..." he didn't know what to say. He didn't know why he had called her and he didn't even know why he was here.
"What..?"
"I don't know..."
"Want a drink?" She closed the door and cal nodded. Hazel grabbed cal a glass of water and he thanked her before speaking.
"Listen...I uh..."
"Yeah?" She looked at Calum with wide puppy eyes and cal sighed.
"For fucks sake.." and then he grabbed her waist, pulled her close and kissed her lips.
She quickly as she could pulled away. "Calum I can't...I love you, I always will...but am I really what you want?" Calum just sighed. "I'm not just someone for you to have sex with. You can't just come over when you're horny, fuck me, and then run back to Mitchy."
"Mitchy doesn't love me!" Cal gripped his hair. He was supposed to know what he wanted but he didn't
"But do you love him?"
"I'm trying not to!"
"Do you love me calum?"
"I don't know!"
"Don't shout at me." Cal rubbed his face frustratedly. Hazel went over and moves his hands, he was tearing up, something he really didn't want her to see but it was too late. "Let's go sit down okay?" He nodded and they sat down on the couch. She wiped his tears. "I know your heads been a mess, but I'll always be here." Calum nodded again as hazel pulled him down to rest his head on her chest. "We've had our ups and down, always have." He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm proud of you." She whispered.
"For fucking what?"
"Being there for our kids when I wasn't. For helping them grow up. I'm so sorry for what I've put you through." She played with his hair.
"I'm just doing what I have to."
"And you're doing an amazing job." Hazel took Cals face in her hands and made him look at her. He couldn't. He couldn't look at her face and not feel guilty and shitty and just plain stupid, so he chose to look down instead, avoiding eye contact with her beautiful eyes. But soon he felt her lips on his, he shook his head.
"Stop it..."
"I...sorry.." she looked away.
"You just pushed me off you and said you can't, and then you just...you do it."
"I can't because I don't know how you feel, and I still don't but..." she sighed. "I can't explain why I did that, I'm sorry."
"I don't even know how I feel." She stood up.
"Let me know when you know."
"Yeah..." Calum looked at the floor.
"Wanna stay here tonight? Or want a ride home?"
"I can walk." He stood up and went towards the door
"Okay...I'll see you whenever."
"Whenever."
Calum sighed and started his journey home. Halfway home his phone began ringing...it was hazel...
He picked up and answered it. "Hmm?"
"Listen cal...don't think about it. I'm going to see someone else. We're getting to old for this shit, I can't do it anymore...I love you, I always will, and thank you for everything. But this is goodbye..."
Shit. All Calum could say was, "oh..." before sighing and hanging up. And just because fate wasn't on Calum side, it began raining. Hard. He didn't go home, regardless of the rain, but instead he headed to the bridge where he liked to smoke even though he didn't have cigarettes on him. Him and Issac texted back and forth a little but mostly he just stood there alone and cold in the rain. God every day he wished for a happy ending. He wished, every single moment, that something good would shine through but here he was, standing in the pouring rain trying to forget two people at the same time with no help from anything in any form. He should have left her in high school. He should have stayed away and let her raise the kids. He should have just found someone else a long time ago and left her alone. But he fucked with it, cuz he thought his life would be better if he chased the girl. that's how movies go. But he was slowly realizing his life wasn't a movie...at least not a good one. This was a movie you don't wanna watch. His script was ripped and now he saw that this was just heartache...this was never gonna be a fairytale. He was older now, and his chance at love was just...gone. What did he deserve?
