Miss Matched [COMPLETED]

9. Tayla

All the reasons I should say no are clear. After crying on his shoulder earlier and having him say one or two absolutely perfect things, my heart isn't cooperating with my head. A good line shouldn't turn me to mush.

But sitting next to him at the pottery place, having him go along with my dickhead nonsense, the tightness of his hug, and even now when he's looking at me so earnestly, so intently, as though he actually means all the soulmate malarkey he's been spewing since Thursday, my resolve is slowly eroding. Saying yes is a slippery slope. I'll already be adding time onto what we negotiated.

"I think I'd just like to go home." Because as much as my outside has softened, there's still a tight ball inside of me filled with anger and confusion. The night he broke up with me and every day after I couldn't make myself understand why. I stuffed those thoughts deep down, trying to deny their existence. Having him storm back into my life doesn't change what's passed between us.

He catches my eyes and we hold eye contact for a beat, but he breaks it first. "If that's what you want..."

"I don't understand what your goal is here, Simon." The industrial warehouses around us are stark and impersonal and maybe more suited to this conversation than cozied up together on stools, a penis plate in front of us. "But you can't snap your fingers and make things right between us. Whether you were there for it or not, there's a lot of water between us. There's no bridge."

"My goal is the same as yours." He grabs my hand and laces our fingers together, but I can't look at him again because tears are welling in my eyes. "I already know I didn't do the right thing six years ago, for so many reasons, but something has brought us back together again."

"A faulty computer system." I sniff and lift my gaze to the roof of the car, willing my hand to stop tingling from his touch, for my eyes to suck back the tears so they don't fall.

"Maybe." I can hear the smile in his voice. "Or maybe the computer system actually got it right this time."

My heart aches at his words. What's driving him? Guilt over how he broke up with me? Loneliness? Though I can't imagine Simon having a hard time getting women to swipe right. He's gorgeous with an outdoor ruggedness not many men possess. I used to love that he was as comfortable in a suit as he was in sweats around a campfire. 

I never needed an algorithm to tell me we were good together. I felt it in my bones. For me, our connection was almost instant, and it flared so big and bright that everyone who came after him didn't quite compare.

At one point, Ruby accused me of self-sabotaging by picking men who were the opposite of Simon. Maybe I did. But I went into this experiment with an open heart, determined to date differently, and my result closed my heart right back up. Old wounds run deep.

"Can you take me home now?" Thankfully, my tears vanished without falling, so when I shift to look at him, my face is impassive.

"I can't tempt you?" He releases my hand to start the car.

My fingers long to seek his warmth again. Could he tempt me? He already is, and that is a problem. "No." I focus on the scenery whizzing by. "I don't think you can."

~ * ~

Since we've had a cancellation, I'm holed up in my office, the door slightly ajar, researching vet exchange opportunities.

"You busy?" Sandy asks from the doorway.

"Not really," I admit and turn off my monitor. While Sandy would still have a job while I was gone and Mike would have a partner, I'm not ready to let either of them in on my potential plans.