Miss Matched [COMPLETED]

17. Tayla

The flourless slab of chocolate cake rests uneaten on the plate on my desk. Ruby gives me an expectant sigh from her chair. "I brought you cake. You're supposed to give me details. You're clearly not in a good place."

I wedge off a small piece of cake and chew slowly. "Things are going well with Pixie. That's a plus. Ciro was over yesterday helping me train her."

"Ciro is not the man you want to be helping you train that puppy. What's going on with you and Simon? You've been in a tailspin since Sunday."

With a deep breath, I dive into all the gory details from Sunday's date and confession by Simon, to my suspicions I pressured him into getting married, to us having sex, to me kicking him out. "And he never answered me about the pressure to get married. Avoided it completely. Obviously, I'm right about that."

"So, you had sex with him and kicked him out. Seems like a reasonable response to his avoidance."

"I cannot help how my body responds to him. I can't, okay? It's like..." I falter. What is it like? A wildfire. A tornado. A collision course I can't seem to avert. "He even made me say he's the best sex I've ever had."

Ruby's eyes widen. "Is he?"

"Hands down. But don't worry—I made it sound like I didn't mean it." I stab at my cake and shovel in a mouthful.

Ruby chuckles. She watches me eat for a minute. "I'm only gonna say this once. There's no shame in taking him back if that's what you want. You're both older, hopefully wiser. No one is going to think ill of you for following your heart."

"My heart doesn't get a say in this. My libido is raging out of control, but I'll pop a lid on that now too. Released the tension." Twice. "Cut it out. The only part of me that gets to weigh in on Simon is my brain."

"Why?"

"Because my heart got me into the last mess. My libido got me into the mess last night."

"Your brain took you to GameSetMatch."

I point my fork at her. "That's not a helpful comment."

"I'm just saying—isn't every part of this pointing to him? If you didn't care, you wouldn't be spinning out like this."

"How do I know this isn't all a game to him? How do I know he didn't get the email and think 'oh right, yeah, that's the chick I used to have great sex with. Let's give that another go' and that's why he came to my office?"

"Ask him."

"What?"

"Ask him. I know it might not seem fair, but maybe you need to put yourself out there a little bit."

"I have asked him why he came." My heart squeezes in my chest at the various answers he's given me. None of them have been remotely teasing. He was genuine and sincere when he said no one has ever matched him as well as me.

"What did he say?"

"Lots of things." I shift uncomfortably in my chair.

"Any of those things suggest he viewed coming after you as a game?"

"No," I answer grudgingly. "I just—I don't want him to be the one."

"Because he broke your heart."

"Yeah," I say, picking at the cake. I bite my lip. "It also feels like, as honest as he's being, he's still holding something back."

"Such as?"

"He freely admits he was going to propose to me at the restaurant. Planned the whole thing as far as I can tell. Then at the last minute, he breaks up with me." I stare at her, tears welling in my eyes. "Does extreme cold feet account for that? Out of the blue? Something must have happened, and I don't know what it could have been. I always thought he was maybe cheating on me with Jada. But he swears he wasn't, and he was surprised by the accusation."