How to act human for Dummies (and angels)

7 Baby don't hurt me

"Son of a bitch! Urgh!"

His eyes closed, Dean leaned on the motel's wall, concentrating on not blacking out. Keeping his mind busy with a simple task.

Breath in, breath out.

Breath in, breath out.

Breath in -

A pain shot through his back, making him wheeze. "Fucking vampire bitch!" he cursed under his breath.

"Geez, language", he heard his brother scoff with a smile. Then keys jingled, followed by the sound of a door opening.

Dean heaved himself up to enter the room slowly. He limped along the wall, his eyes looking down on his legs like staring at them would make moving easier. Because everytime he shifted his weight, his back and legs protested, and his vision blurred.

"Sam, Dean, you're back!"

Surprised, Dean looked up to find an all too familiar angel standing in front of him, a worried and warm gaze in his eyes. Dean gulped. "Fuck, not now! I can't." He cleared his throat.

"Hi Cas," he deadpanned, flopping down on his bed. Which was not a good idea because his body directly reminded him of the fight, making him swear yet again.

"Dean, what happened? Why do you look like this? Why...why didn't you pray for me?"

The desperation in Cas' voice made Dean look up. He shouldn't have. The mixture of hurt, compassion, and worry in his angel's eyes was too much to handle. The lump in the hunter's throat tightened. In an attempt to escape this gaze, Dean gave a quick glance at Sam, then fixated the carpet on the ground.

"We, uh, we got the vamp without you. No help needed."

"I see."

All warmth had drained from the angel's voice. Dean felt a surge of guilt building up, threatening to spill over, urging him to do something. He pressed his lips together, bit the inside of his cheek.

"Let me heal you at least", Cas said, moving forward. He bent down to place a hand on Dean's forehead. Accompanied by glowing light, Dean felt a warmth spreading out in his whole body. His eyes shuttered close as he let the warmth wash over him. The pain in his body dulled. He could feel his wounds closing, healing until the warmth faded away along with the pain. Dean felt himself relax. A relieved sigh escaped his mouth. Without thinking about it, he leaned into the touch.

Sam cleared his throat. "I, uuh, forgot to buy this, uuh, important thing at the store." Dean heard a chair squeak and the jingle of keys again.

Suddenly realising he still leaned onto Cas, Dean went stiff. "What the hell am I doing, shit!"

"And you two lovebirds sort it out in the meantime," Sam smirked. Then he rushed out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him. In the ensuing silence, you would have heard a needle drop.

"Did he just...he..what!?" Dean slowly closed his mouth. He hadn't even realised it had been open. He kept staring at the door, still baffled at his brother's remark. "What has he done? How could he dare to - "

"Dean."

There was this tone of warmth and worry again. Yet, Dean refused to look at Cas. He couldn't be lost in those eyes again.

"Dean."

He gulped. Blood rushed through his veins.

"Dean, please, talk to me."

"I can't."

"You can't what?"

There came the surge again, threatening to spill all his secrets. Dean curled into a ball, his arms around his head, clutching the hair at the back of his neck.

"He had no right," he whispered softly, barely audible.

"No right?"

"Dang angel ears!" Dean thought and stayed silent.

"Dean, Sam was right. We can't just not talk to each other for weeks again. Please. You know you can trust me."

"But it is not right," Dean murmured.

"What is?"

Dean stared at the wall. In his mind he could see his dad scolding him again: "Be strong, be brave, protect your brother. Don't fall in love, it makes you weak." He had also not been fond of gays, or "freaks" as his father would name them.

"Freaks loving someone they are not supposed to love."

"Freaks, huh."

"It's not natural. There's rules you gotta follow, ya know? Gotta play the part," Dean said, thinking about his role as a hunter.

"Rules, right. Keeping the order is important," Cas replied.

Dean nodded. Something seemed off about the way Castiel answered. Yet, just as he opened his mouth to ask, the angel vanished into thin air, leaving a confused Dean behind.