Broken (GirlxGirl)

Uncomfortable

OK, calm down Samantha, she's only her to talk, besides you're the one who invited her inside. Just breathe. Breathe.

It was easier said than done, my heart was ready to beat out of my chest and I had rub my hands down my pants because they had started to sweat and shake a little.

I hid them behind my back so she wouldn't see but she was too busy looking around at everything. Taking in my home. My sanctuary.

"There aren't any pictures." She said and I said nothing, unsure of how I should answer her because it didn't sound like a question, just an observation.

I followed her as she tried to find out where to sit so we could talk and she turned into the living room. I haven't even been in this room but once when I was arranging the furniture. She walked over to the love seat and sat down looking up at me expectantly while my heart tried to tear it's way out of my chest.

I walked so slowly towards her that I wasn't even sure if I was moving and all the while she had that beautiful smile in her face.

"I won't bite Sam." She said and I think I died for a second.

The look on her face was michevious and it scared me a little. Come on Samatha, you're strong, tough and scary. Don't let one wolf break you down!

All the while I was having my internal rant she was watching me with a smile.

Why was she smiling at me?

Didn't she remember what I did? What I can do?

I don't deserve her smiles. Disgust. Fear. Hatred. Never smiles.

With that final thought I closed down and walked the final distance to the couch and sat down careful to keep space between us.

I knew that she had taken notice of my change because her brows were furrowed and she looked a little sad and I hurt a little seeing that sadness on her face, knowing I put it there.

My heart was still racing a little but I kept my outward appearance calm as I waited for her to start and I must say that I was completly shocked at the first thing that came out of her mouth.

"When are you going to let me in?" She asked and I could hear the sadness in her voice.

Dammit all!

She wasn't looking at me when she asked the question but now those beautiful brown eyes were focused on nothing but me. Pure sadness and confusion stared at me.

I could feel the things inside of me stirring wanting to comfort her and that gave me pause. I've never known them to want or do anything but destroy and kill. I never even knew that they were capable of feeling.

For them to feel anything...

"I'm sorry." I finally said in answer to her question.

Hesitantly, I reached towards her to rest my hand on her cheek and gasped as she did too.

The feeling from that one simple touch made me want to cry. I felt as if I was the strongest person in the world and the most vulnerable. As if she completed me and without her I wasn't whole. I wanted to love her, make her happy and kept her safe all at the same time. To make her mine.

She leaned into my hand and sighed as I closed my eyes, stopped feeling and just felt.

This.

This was...nice.