How's Life? [iCarly Spencer Shay X Reader] [COMPLETED]

Welcome To The Stage, Nevel Papperman

I park outside Sam and Cat's apartment, where the two girls are at the main doors waiting for us. As I stop they walk to the rental and get into the back seats, and I start the engine again. Behind me Sam asks:

"So, why is Spencer here if Carly asked you to capture Nora?"

Spencer sighs a little wistfully and turns round to speak to her.
"Because Carly told Y/N to look after me in case Nora comes after me."
"Why can't you look after yourself?" Cat asks in her wispy voice, and Spencer sighs wistfully again.
I reply for him, "Because Carly doesn't want to risk Spencer using his special specific set of skills because she cares too much for him as her brother to let him get in the way. It's kind of like..." I glance over to him, and he offers a small grateful smile, "witness protection."
He watches me for a while, until I realise I need to keep my eyes on the road and look away.
I hear beside me, "I have a special specific set of skills?"
I smile, my eyes still on the road but knowing that Spencer has on that goddamn soft face. That soft face is everything, my God.

I mean, it used to be.

Obviously.

We arrive at Peter Sinai Sickness Hospital to be greeted outside by the owner. He seems nice - for the owner of an institution for insane people.
He shakes each of our hands, raising an eyebrow at Cat's sticky hands from letting her eat cotton candy in the car to stop talking, then leads us inside and past rows of asylum patients and down countless spooky-looking steps until he stops abruptly, causing the four of us to stumble onto the floor.

As we get back up I look up and stare, mouth agape. Before us is a narrow corridor; on each side is a different mental patient, bugging out or sitting so still you'd think they were dead if it wasn't for the way they immediately snap their heads round at our noise. I flinch at each of their calm yet crazy faces, and not thinking clutch the arm of the owner, who shakes me off immediately and regards me disparagingly.
"Are those... dungarees?"
In response - I've dealt with people judging my appearance a lot within my years of contortioning - I stand up straight, clasp my hands behind my back, give a big fake smile and retort politely, "Are those cheap shoes paid for with the tip you're not getting?"

The guy harrumphs rudely and proceeds to trot back upstairs, leaving us four to tiptoe across the corridor in a fearful huddle. We pass many clearly insane people - including a tall lanky guy in a mask swinging stuff and yelling incomprehensibly who looks a tiny bit like a more crazy version of Spencer - until we reach the end cell and all gasp at the man standing as politely as I was earlier, smiling as if he had never gone insane...

"Nevel Papperman."

Nevel waves at us like he had just spotted us across a beach at Spring Break and not in an asylum.
"Hello everyone. And... new red haired girl," he drops his hands down to his sides and stares at us intently,
"Why are you here?"
Sam begins, glancing at the rest of us uncertainly. "So, uhh, we have this friend, Dice-"
"You mean the young boy, aged twelve, whose full name is Dicenio Jay Corleone, Sixth grade, magnificent hair?"
My eyes widen and meet with Spencer's equally buggy eyes.
Cat furrows her brows and asks, "How do you know so much about Dice?"
Spencer and I roll our eyes as Nevel begins - "I know a lot of things about-" - and we finish the well-known sentence in time with him as he looks at us crossly - "about a lot of things."
He brings up a finger and wags it at us. "Don't start that up again."

Sam interrupts our joshing. "Well, do you know what happened to Dice?"
Nevel cocks a brow at Sam. "Tell me."
"Some weird girl took him!" Cat exclaims, and Sam brings out a piece of paper.
"Her name is Nora Dershlit. Take a look at this." Sam places the slip in the transfer box at the front of the glass, and within a split second Nevel tries to fearlessly grab her hand from the box. She and Cat scream and pull to get away from him as Spencer and I try to keep ourselves from laughing. We both know Nevel Papperman wouldn't do anything dangerous - but the girls don't have to know that as long as we're having fun!

As the tugging ceases we look into each other's eyes after busting a gut laughing, then look away to Nevel and try again to erase the whole situation in our room. Nevel walks with the paper to his original spot.
"What is this?"
"It's the note Nora gave us," Sam replies with remaining hostility, and Nevel clears his throat and reads it out. The two of us who haven't read it listen intently, then cringe at the hank of hair Cat brings out then throws into the box for him to sniff at.

"The boy does have amazing hair!"
"We know!" We say simultaneously, and Cat adds wearily,
"We just wanna find him!"
"Then we must look at the clues!" Nevel announces proudly.
Sam waves her hands about and shouts, "But we don't have any clues!"
"Wrong, sir!" he replies triumphantly, and us three girls look at Sam to check she looks female, which she does, and look back up to Nevel.

He holds the paper aloft and points at it. "See this? Notice this stain? This stain was made by donkey sauce!" He continues to lick the paper as Sam thinks.
"The only place that serves donkey sauce is...  Aloha Burger!"
Nevel smiles gleefully. "Correct!"
Cat butts in with her finger held up.
"So, you're saying, that if we happen to find a donkey eating a hamburger... then Dice is somewhere in Hawa-eye-eye?"

Spencer mouths at me, "Hawa-eye-eye?" and I shrug, which Nevel catches then says what we're thinking.
"Okay, this girl makes Gibby seem like a genius." The three of us exchange a secret look, and stop when Sam demands he tell us where Dice is.
Nevel begins to pace around his tiny room. "We really can't know for sure, BUT!" - causing Cat to jump - "the perfect place to hide someone would be in an abandoned house. And within one mile of an Aloha Burger there is three abandoned houses."
Sam looks at him weirdly. "How would you know?"
He pumps his arms in frustration.
"I'm studying for my junior real estate license!"
He turns his head dramatically, and steps toward us.
"Look in those houses three, and your friend Dice you shall see."

"Wow," I comment, crossing my arms, "still hung up on that cryptic rhyming eh?"
He shrugs, "It was one of the reasons they accepted me here in the first place."

Sam slaps us all collectively, and I spot Spencer rubbing his arm pouting.
"So we've just got to check all those houses and then we can find Dice!"
"Let's GO!" Spencer declares loudly and we run off laughing, leaving Nevel to hammer on the glass begging us to not leave him.

At the bottom of the steps I hang back, and suddenly thinking of something I tell the others to go on ahead and I'll catch up - they can't leave me here anyway, I'm the only one that can drive the rental.
I run back to Nevel's cell, and out of surprise he stops pounding the wall to stare at me. Licking my lips, I ask:
"How did you know Spencer and I aren't together?"
He stands stock still and smiles mysteriously. It makes me, for the first time in meeting him, a little nervous.

"The way you smiled at each other, 'twas tender yet cautious. But don't worry - I have a feeling that won't be for long."

He chuckles to himself, quickly escalating to a maniacal laugh, and feeling uncomfortable and confused yet curious I step carefully away and to the stairs where I go to leave.

I take one last look back before disappearing up the steps, and Nevel has his face pressed up against the glass.

"Soon, Y/N! Sooner than you think!"