My Kind of Woman

13. Blush

I embarrassed her. I think. Or she embarrassed herself with that noise that spilled from her throat. That noise. It woke me, blushing, that same night. I sat up in bed, feeling sweat around my ears and in the creases of my elbows. It wasn't really night, more early morning, but with the darkness of winter hours, it appeared late. I hadn't dreamt of anything I don't think, but I woke up thinking of that sound and her rosy face after.

I thought about it again in my English class, and during lunch, and on the way to Jackie's after school. My brain had felt completely scrambled for the entirety of the day; I hadn't been able to keep up in class, I was falling behind in conversation, I faltered during sports.

"It's like you're not here today." Jackie commented, that day wheeling my bike along for me as we walked home. "Did you sort things with Precious?"

"Precious?"

"Yeah, Precious, and the whole virginity thingy you told me a few nights ago." Jackie said, raising her eyebrow at my confusion.

My face got hot. "Oh, yeah! Kind of. All sorted in a way."

"Right. Good." Jackie paused, then said, "Giana was looking for you today, you know?"

I swallowed. "Really? When?"

"End of lunch. She seemed pretty riled up, but I don't know why." Jackie told me. "What did you do, Fish?"

"Nothing!" I was raising my voice a bit, but I didn't mean to, so I quietened. "Nothing. I didn't do anything. I just... have been away from her."

"So avoiding her?"

I pursed my lips, looking sheepish under Jackie's frown. She passed my bike back to me in a passive aggressive shove. I grabbed it and opened my mouth to speak, but Jackie held up her finger scoldingly.

"Giana is still your friend above everything." She said as we entered her front garden. I placed my bike against the wall. "Don't hurt her feelings. You need to be honest with her instead of pulling her along on a string like this. It's unfair."

That just made me feel depressed. I was being pretty awful, and I knew it. I'd been thinking more of a lonely housewife, than my own good friend and her feelings. It made me feel like garbage, but as soon as my thoughts wandered to Mio, my mind stayed there. Guiltily, I hadn't been thinking of Giana. She deserved someone better than I was.

In the house that day, there were two men instead of none. I did a bit of a double take seeing a tall, burly man standing a metre or so from the stairs. He was standing with his hands in the pockets of his suit trousers, his blazer slipped back with the jutting of his wrists. His head was shaved down to a buzzcut and his upper lip was stubbly. The definition of his masculine body was shadowed under his white shirt.

While I was taking off my shoes, Jackie's father came jogging downstairs in similar attire. They looked like they were going out and I wondered if upstairs, Eddie had kissed Mio goodbye.

It was ridiculous; I couldn't compete with the man who had married her. It was ridiculous that I was even delusional enough to think there was competition between me and him. There would never be anything. But I didn't like to think about that.
"Which one's your daughter then?" The man said, looking right at me but pointing between Jackie and I with a cigarette between his fore and middle finger.

Eddie Reed laughed.

"Hello, Daryll." Jackie shook her head and smiled.

The man was still looking at me. I looked back, feeling manly in the way we were almost squaring each other up.